Losing my grip

"For Every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind." Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning,  I hit the snooze an extra time.  I just didn't want to get out of bed.  When I did, I was coughing and draining and just wanted to crawl back under the covers.   But, being the responsible person I am, I got up, dressed and went to feed the herd. Now I am often a little bit surly in the morning,  but this morning, I felt like I was losing my grip on life.

I fed the cats and brought the milk in from the porch, I took my morning supply Synthroid, vitamin and baby aspirin, fed the fish and then the dogs.  I was feeling tired and well just tired.

I went to let the dogs out for their morning romp and I noticed a flower pot on the floor, dirt everywhere.  Well I totally lost it.  Started feeling totally sorry for myself,  I can't even have an aloe plant because, a cat and I think I know which one,  keeps uprooting the thing and leaving a mess for me to clean up.  Then I hear a rustle in the kitchen and sure enough said cat is getting in the garbage bag which I had left in the sink.  This may also be the cat that has begun peeing on my kitchen counter, but, it could also be the other other black and white cat!  Now these cats are old and I love them dearly,  but I think I need a vacation from my pets!

Well I let the dogs in, gave them a treat and put them in their crates. I was just feeling angry.  Anger that my life changed course, when I didn't want it to,  anger at men for being so stupid(this is for another post about internet dating!), just anger.  I got in the car and headed to work, angry! I was also having a hot flash and felt ready to explode.

Well, I pulled out of the drive and the absolutely most beautiful full moon was facing me in the clear western sky.  The air was crisp and cool and suddenly all that anger just vanished.  I started to get my grip on life back and enjoyed my trip to work.  

Feeling angry is really just loosing moments of a wonderful life.  Yes I have some anxiety, but I really do have a wonderful life  (Thank you George Bailey).