Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Past The Present The Future

"Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely, improve the present. It is thine. Go Forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Sitting around with co-workers with a cup of coffee in hand, the talk turned to school and teachers.  Everyone seems to remember every teacher they have ever had.  Me, not so much.  I can remember 3rd, 5th and 6th grades  and various teachers from junior high school ( why yes I am old enough to have gone to junior high school and not middle school)  and a few memorable teachers from high school.   I hear people say, oh it is because of this teacher that I am at this job or such things.  Me not so much.  I am not sure that I was greatly influenced by anyone other than my mom and dad.

So yes I enjoyed high school,  do I want to relive that part of my life, no.  I have so many wonderful memories of life after high school.  I don't really do anything in my life conventionally.  I was never highly ambitious to be anything special . Ironically, I chose teaching as my profession.  It was teaching or being a nurse. After starting college, quitting to marry, way too early in life, having a child and then getting divorced and returning to school, teaching won out over nursing.

Now that my children are grown, and gone from the home, I sometimes get caught up in thinking about the past.   Sometimes it makes me sad.  Mostly, though  I can remember some really fun times with my children with joy and wonder.

I surely cannot change anything in the past, and prefer to think about the present and not so much about the future.   I live my life in the present.  Happy, sad, contemplative, disgusted, tired but living the present to the fullest.   Looking forward to visiting with my children when I am able  but carving out a life of my own, which sometimes means doing things alone.

What comes next?   I don't know. My life is so different than what I thought it might be after graduating from college,  not sure I made the best decisions, but I have enjoyed life and being with the people I love. Even through tough times of loss, I have been able to put things in order and still just have a happy time.  What more can anyone ask?