Friday, October 28, 2011

Riding the emotional roller coaster

"Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health."  Carl Jung

When I was in college, oh so many years ago,   I took several courses in psychology,  in truth, I really thought about majoring in that course of study.  Carl Jung, i found him most interesting.  As for this quotation, I just want to say   really?   why?

If you read the blog yesterday, you would know that I was all pumped up for a road trip.  I went home from work, showered, did my hair, got off my knee for a while ( oh yes I have a strained ligament from Monday when I fell walking the dog; she could not help it if that squirrel ran right in front of her! I had the suitcase ready to go, a bag of munchies for the car and a cooler with lunch in it, sitting patiently waiting for Steve to arrive and whisk me off for fun and exciting getaway.

Well, when he came in the door, the look on his face gave me a real scare.  I thought something really really bad had happened.  My heart so to speak was in my mouth.  Adrenaline was kicking in.

As it turns out, our road trip had to be cancelled.  Steve was forced to work on Friday, even though he had the shift covered (which should be the director of nursings job).  I felt so sad for him.  But, you have to accept things you cannot change no matter how sad it feels.

I put all the food stuffs away, so the dog wouldn't ravage the bag, and we headed out to Krannert Center for Uncorked.  A little wine and cheese and munchies to get our minds off our sadness.  I started a game of Scrabble on Steve's IPad while he was up procuring our wine choice,  a delightful Malbec from Argentina, with the taste of berries and chocolate. So we played and tried to relax.  Went to Basil Thai for a bowl of delicious Tom Yum Noodle soup with vegetables and tofu  to comfort ourselves.   Then home to watch game 6 of the World Series.

Now that was a game for sure, and while I was on the emotional roller coaster anyway, I watched anxious and filled with dreadful thoughts.  But, my team, the St. Louis Cardinals are a never say die kind of team,  and while i turned off the tv in the bottom of the 9th for about 5 minutes, I ended up staying up until nearly midnight watching the fun and festivities of the St. Louis win, in the bottom of the 11th with two out and David Freese up to bat.  How could I turn the set off after that!  Had to hear all the interviews and rewatch the wonders of bottom of 9th, 10th and 11th innings.

So today, I am at work, exhausted emotionally.  I have to say that the early morning sky was absolutey beautiful and clear,  the stars were amazingly bright and Orion was just hanging there about my building.

So, happy, fearful, sad, anxious, relaxed, sad, anxious, dread filled, and then finally elated.  How is that for a ride?!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Road Trip

"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page." Saint Augustine

Travel, not a problem for me.  I plan on filling my book with many pages.   My Road Trip for this weekend will take Steve and I to beautiful South Carolina.

I really love Charleston,  I have been there when my girls were young. When we drove up the avenue to Boone Hall plantation, we all exclaimed with delight,  as we recognized the scenery.  Little did we know before we drove down that avenue that our favorite tv mini series  North and South was filmed here and we were driving up to Mont Royal!  I think i will always remember how the girls and I felt that day.

The weather should be beautiful and we will be visiting Fort Sumter.  Steve has not been there before and I delight in being able to go again.

There is nothing like a trip, even a short one to take away the cares of my world and transport me to somewhere magical.   It tends to motivate me to try to accomplish more in my work and home.

Look for future posts of magical trips I was able to take this year.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


"Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Well, it has been a very long time since I have written a word.   I have been undergoing many changes in my life all at once.  The so called "change of life" that a woman goes through, is exactly that, a change of life.  Almost everything about me seems different now.  I am not sure i really know me any longer.

Menopause, accompanied by the fact that both children left the house the same year to go to graduate school, and the loss of one child, has made me feel and look different.  I have been struggling with this change, in fact, I am not very good with change, even though i know it is a fact of life.

I don't seem to be able to gain control of my diet, it is really out of control.  I don't want to clean the house regularly, or to do large projects, such as clean out my garage.  I don't care about gardening anymore, it seems to be such a chore.

I long to just sit with a good book and a cup of tea, or watch a good movie, or travel.
I am very happy for my daughters. I think they are amazing, wonderful women.

I have a relationship with a loving and caring man, who sees to my every need. We travel together and have wonderful vacations and long weekends. We enjoy operas and eating out and hiking in beautiful locations, and museums.

So why might one as have I felt the need to write today.   The answer is I just don't know.  I know I have some hurdles to jump, and that i get through each day as it comes.