Thursday, November 10, 2011


"Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the Moon. July 1969AD.  We came in peach for all mankind." Neill Armstrong

In my quest to find beauty in each day, I sometimes get bogged down by life itself.  Most of the time my mind thinks I am 25 years old still.  But, occasionally my body says"  Oh no, you aren't 25  years old, you are more than twice that age!   Thanks body for reminding me.  I had a slight set back with my injured knee yesterday afternoon.  I have been having increased mobility and feeling pretty good, even started taking the stairs again.  Well, the knee rebelled, I stood up to do something at work and had searing pain in knee.  I hobbled home, took ibuprofen and laid down.  When i could move a little better I went to the store to procure a knee brace.  You see, the new medical system at the clinic I go to is so bad, that when I told them i could not put any weight on the knee,  they said "Well we can't get you in today, but i will leave a message for the nurse to call you back."  Well later in the day, the nurse called.  She could not even get me in the next day.   I told her to forget about it!  I would go buy a brace and take care of myself.  I was a little annoyed.

So, feeling a bit down,  I got up this morning, put the knee brace on and set out for work.  Just as I turned the corner,   the enormous full moon came into view in the western sky,  which was totally clear, and the air was crisp and cool.  It was so amazingly beautiful, I just forgot everything and was in awe.

"The moon is at her full and riding high, Floods the calm fields with light.  The airs that hover in the summer sky Are all asleep tonight." William C. Bryant

So, thank you Earth for sending me that beautiful message this morning.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

How my mind works

"My formula for living is quite simple.  I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night.  In between, I occupy myself the best I can."  Cary Grant

Today  I am feeling a bit anxious and a bit alone.  I had a lovely weekend with my friends and with Steve.

I had a lovely dinner and chat with my good friend last night,  still however, I am feeling like I just want someone to talk to right now at this moment.

I never quite understand where these feelings come from.  Why am I such an emotional person?  I have a lot of work to do and I am very grateful for that; I have a lovely family and I am grateful for that; I have a wonderful person to spend my life with and I am grateful for that; I have delightful and caring friends and I am grateful for that.

So i wonder why i get these overwhelming feelings of be alone and needing just to talk with someone.

Whatever the reason, just writing it down helps me to just put that feeling on a shelf and get on with the business of being happy.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


"Here's what I tell anybody and this is what I believe. The greatest gift we have is the gift of life. We understand that. That comes from our Creator. We're given a body. Now you may not like it, but you can maximize that body the best it can be maximized." Mike Ditka

Needless to say,  I am feeling FAT!  This morning i put on my black jeans, which at one time i called my fat pants, because i had lost enough weight that they were baggy.  Well, I know i have been rather out of control lately,  and I keep making excuses, but the fact is I AM FAT!   I started a food diary, and have taken a long hard look at exactly what I am eating.  No wonder I feel fat!   I have gained back all the weight I lost, I have little desire to do much of anything and now I am flat out sick of the way I look.

Now I see this as a good thing.  Because  now I will take charge, get the will power fired up ( after all it really all comes down to will power,  I mean I know how to eat properly, but I just don't)  and give it a good try.

Partly I am blaming menopause.  Yes it is true things move around post menopausal,  and I am also blaming my alone time, which is a lot these days.   I will sit around in the evening and eat when i am not even hungry and i blame being alone so much for that, and the fact that I am a stress eater.

But, when you can't stand the way you look, and your fat pants feel tight in the morning, it really is time to get back on a healthy eating plan.  I need to turn down muffins and coffee cake at work  and grab a cup of green tea instead.  I need to grab a book instead of all those horrible things i have been eating in the evening.

         "Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation, which are as necessary as reading.
          I will rather say more necessary because health is worth more than learning. " Thomas Jefferson

Yes I truly believe TJ.  My exercise routine has to get up to speed, once my injured ligament in the knee heals,  I am thinking next week for sure, starting out slowly.

So FAT PANTS,  watch out,   I am going to put you in the back of the drawer  and take out the jeans I bought last year and well actually can't zip now.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Autumn Color

For the beauty of the earth
for the glory of the skies
for the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies
Lord of all to thee we raise
this our hymn of grateful praise
Folliott S. Pierpoint

The colors this autumn have been magnificent.  I drove around after work looking for the most beautiful tree.  I couldn't actually  get a good photo of the tree i wanted, so I took off on a walk around my neighborhood.  Not the best shot ever, and the color just didn't show up as well as I would like,  but here it is anyway.

I am attempting to find some beauty every day.  The amount of alone time I have now seems a bit overwhelming at times and I need to remind myself that there is beauty to be found in every day.

The color red, one of my favorites has been really prevalent in the trees in my neighborhood. It is also the color associated with my favorite baseball team,  who by the way just won the WORLD SERIES.  I have actually had the good fortune to see my team win the world series 3 times, and I am old enough to remember 1964 and 1967 although being a teenage girl then I just barely remember.  But 2006 was so memorable because I was in Scotland with my Dad visiting my daughter  and we got up to head for the train station to get to the airport very early; we switched on the telly and were able to see the Cardinals win the World Series.  My dad proudly wore his red Cardinal hat all over Scotland, trying to get some information on how the series was going.    I think I will remember this 2011 victory for a long time. Even though I had to watch game 7 alone, it was so thrilling.  In 1982 my dad and I celebrated with champagne. For this win I celebrated by breaking the seal on my bottle of Oban 14 yr single malt, which i procured in Oban with my other daughter, while visiting her in May.

So I will continue to remember to find the beauty in each day, and not dwell on all that alone time I have now.  For today, I found the early morning sky filled with the most beautiful and brilliant stars. The cool crisp air and the brilliance of the stars should be plenty of beauty to get me through  today.