Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Change


"The Universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it." Marcus Aurelius Antoninus



Change.   Adjusting to changes has never been my strong suit,  and I have seen my fair share of change.  I have lost a parent, lived in 4 different states following a man who eventually just left, and had many different jobs.  I really just don't like change and the adjustments that have to be made in my life.

But here again I am facing change.  J moved back into the dorms yesterday.  It was fun moving her and fun to feel the excitement,  but as I went back home it seemed so empty.  Now that is something when there are two dogs, three cats, 4 fish and a visiting cat waiting to greet me.

Going to bed and not hearing her moving around across the hall, not seeing the light from the hallway coming through the bottom of my door, hearing nothing but silence made me feel so lonely. 

I watched some Olympics, with a cat laying peacefully beside me while I did Sudoku puzzles and mended a bag for J.  I drank a gin and tonic and just felt the stillness around me.

It takes some time for me to adjust to being alone again after having her home for the summer. She is just a few blocks away and I will see her frequently,  but the feeling in the home is different.

Just about the time that I start to adjust, R will be home from China.  I will be so happy to see her and the loneliness of the house will be no more.

Change is constant they say and I believe it.


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