Thursday, December 1, 2011

Tis the Season

"This little green one here seems to need a home." Charlie Brown

Well it is the season.  I look forward to the Christmas season all year long.  I started watching Christmas movies in mid November.    I have traditions I uphold, because i love them.  I hang decorations that my children made so many years ago.  It is my favorite time of the year.

So I am contemplating why I have a mixed bag of feelings this year.  So many joyous feelings mixed with a bit of melancholy.   Thinking about how much my mom loved Christmas and how many seasons she has been gone.  My mother really loved Christmas and she held it in her heart all year long. She made each Christmas special when I was a little girl, that it became a part of who I am.  I am missing her so much this year,  perhaps it is because I am getting older.  I am missing Ryan so much also.  I have a pair of purple flannel pajamas that he bought me so many Christmases ago, and a purple night shirt, and a gold necklace that has two hearts,  he told me it was mine and his.   I miss him.  I hung his stocking with the rest of ours, even though nothing will be put in the stocking.   He is my son and just because he is not here on earth with me, he is in my heart.

So, I guess aging, is bringing on these thoughts of Christmases gone by,but thankfully, I still feel an enormous amount of joy and anticipation at this wondrous time of the year.  I look forward to spending time with family and friends, and just enjoying the season.

Merry Christmas!