Autumn Color

For the beauty of the earth
for the glory of the skies
for the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies
Lord of all to thee we raise
this our hymn of grateful praise
Folliott S. Pierpoint




The colors this autumn have been magnificent.  I drove around after work looking for the most beautiful tree.  I couldn't actually  get a good photo of the tree i wanted, so I took off on a walk around my neighborhood.  Not the best shot ever, and the color just didn't show up as well as I would like,  but here it is anyway.

I am attempting to find some beauty every day.  The amount of alone time I have now seems a bit overwhelming at times and I need to remind myself that there is beauty to be found in every day.

The color red, one of my favorites has been really prevalent in the trees in my neighborhood. It is also the color associated with my favorite baseball team,  who by the way just won the WORLD SERIES.  I have actually had the good fortune to see my team win the world series 3 times, and I am old enough to remember 1964 and 1967 although being a teenage girl then I just barely remember.  But 2006 was so memorable because I was in Scotland with my Dad visiting my daughter  and we got up to head for the train station to get to the airport very early; we switched on the telly and were able to see the Cardinals win the World Series.  My dad proudly wore his red Cardinal hat all over Scotland, trying to get some information on how the series was going.    I think I will remember this 2011 victory for a long time. Even though I had to watch game 7 alone, it was so thrilling.  In 1982 my dad and I celebrated with champagne. For this win I celebrated by breaking the seal on my bottle of Oban 14 yr single malt, which i procured in Oban with my other daughter, while visiting her in May.

So I will continue to remember to find the beauty in each day, and not dwell on all that alone time I have now.  For today, I found the early morning sky filled with the most beautiful and brilliant stars. The cool crisp air and the brilliance of the stars should be plenty of beauty to get me through  today.

Riding the emotional roller coaster

"Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health."  Carl Jung

When I was in college, oh so many years ago,   I took several courses in psychology,  in truth, I really thought about majoring in that course of study.  Carl Jung, i found him most interesting.  As for this quotation, I just want to say   really?   why?

If you read the blog yesterday, you would know that I was all pumped up for a road trip.  I went home from work, showered, did my hair, got off my knee for a while ( oh yes I have a strained ligament from Monday when I fell walking the dog; she could not help it if that squirrel ran right in front of her! I had the suitcase ready to go, a bag of munchies for the car and a cooler with lunch in it, sitting patiently waiting for Steve to arrive and whisk me off for fun and exciting getaway.

Well, when he came in the door, the look on his face gave me a real scare.  I thought something really really bad had happened.  My heart so to speak was in my mouth.  Adrenaline was kicking in.

As it turns out, our road trip had to be cancelled.  Steve was forced to work on Friday, even though he had the shift covered (which should be the director of nursings job).  I felt so sad for him.  But, you have to accept things you cannot change no matter how sad it feels.

I put all the food stuffs away, so the dog wouldn't ravage the bag, and we headed out to Krannert Center for Uncorked.  A little wine and cheese and munchies to get our minds off our sadness.  I started a game of Scrabble on Steve's IPad while he was up procuring our wine choice,  a delightful Malbec from Argentina, with the taste of berries and chocolate. So we played and tried to relax.  Went to Basil Thai for a bowl of delicious Tom Yum Noodle soup with vegetables and tofu  to comfort ourselves.   Then home to watch game 6 of the World Series.

Now that was a game for sure, and while I was on the emotional roller coaster anyway, I watched anxious and filled with dreadful thoughts.  But, my team, the St. Louis Cardinals are a never say die kind of team,  and while i turned off the tv in the bottom of the 9th for about 5 minutes, I ended up staying up until nearly midnight watching the fun and festivities of the St. Louis win, in the bottom of the 11th with two out and David Freese up to bat.  How could I turn the set off after that!  Had to hear all the interviews and rewatch the wonders of bottom of 9th, 10th and 11th innings.

So today, I am at work, exhausted emotionally.  I have to say that the early morning sky was absolutey beautiful and clear,  the stars were amazingly bright and Orion was just hanging there about my building.

So, happy, fearful, sad, anxious, relaxed, sad, anxious, dread filled, and then finally elated.  How is that for a ride?!

Road Trip

"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page." Saint Augustine


Travel, not a problem for me.  I plan on filling my book with many pages.   My Road Trip for this weekend will take Steve and I to beautiful South Carolina.

I really love Charleston,  I have been there when my girls were young. When we drove up the avenue to Boone Hall plantation, we all exclaimed with delight,  as we recognized the scenery.  Little did we know before we drove down that avenue that our favorite tv mini series  North and South was filmed here and we were driving up to Mont Royal!  I think i will always remember how the girls and I felt that day.

The weather should be beautiful and we will be visiting Fort Sumter.  Steve has not been there before and I delight in being able to go again.

There is nothing like a trip, even a short one to take away the cares of my world and transport me to somewhere magical.   It tends to motivate me to try to accomplish more in my work and home.

Look for future posts of magical trips I was able to take this year.

Changes

"Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Well, it has been a very long time since I have written a word.   I have been undergoing many changes in my life all at once.  The so called "change of life" that a woman goes through, is exactly that, a change of life.  Almost everything about me seems different now.  I am not sure i really know me any longer.

Menopause, accompanied by the fact that both children left the house the same year to go to graduate school, and the loss of one child, has made me feel and look different.  I have been struggling with this change, in fact, I am not very good with change, even though i know it is a fact of life.

I don't seem to be able to gain control of my diet, it is really out of control.  I don't want to clean the house regularly, or to do large projects, such as clean out my garage.  I don't care about gardening anymore, it seems to be such a chore.

I long to just sit with a good book and a cup of tea, or watch a good movie, or travel.
I am very happy for my daughters. I think they are amazing, wonderful women.

I have a relationship with a loving and caring man, who sees to my every need. We travel together and have wonderful vacations and long weekends. We enjoy operas and eating out and hiking in beautiful locations, and museums.

So why might one as have I felt the need to write today.   The answer is I just don't know.  I know I have some hurdles to jump, and that i get through each day as it comes.

Funky Februrary

"The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children." Elain Heffner

I am in my usual February funk.   I get it every year.  I think it may be a multi-faceted funk.

Tax time is rolling around and as usual I am thrown into the worrying of paying the taxes, I try to save the money every year so I don't worry,  but alas it never seems to work.  And now my paycheck will be getting smaller because even more will be going to the IRS and to the State of Illinois which is in dire straits!  So pay raises are frozen, my check is getting smaller, all while I am working to decrease the amount of debt I have!

But I expect that the main reason I get this funk, is that 33 years ago my mom went into the hospital to have a simple procedure on done on her sinus cavities. She was in the hospital for about 2 weeks.

She never came home.  My mom was the most delightful person.  She had a love for life that was contagious.  She mastered the art of mothering, because she gave me the gift of life,  living it to the fullest, laughing and just enjoying life. I think I am optimistic, a glass is half full kind of woman, because of her. 

I will always be grateful that Regena Daniels was my mom.  My delightful son, Ryan is now with my mom  again.   She never got to know him as an adult here on earth, but I feel they are together now.

I will be glad to be past the first week of March! 

January 2011

"It's so much more friendly with two."   Piglet      

I refused to have the after Christmas blues.  I get them every now and then, but this January I made plans to go to  L. A. to visit Regena!

Steve and I had a lovely Christmas together. It was different for me not having either of my girls home.  Oh I got to speak to them, Janet called from Germany on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Regena called from L.A. both days.  It was lovely to hear their voices.  But, I needed to see them.

I set out of a jet plane, all by myself!   First time for everything.  Darling Steve drove me to Chicago to catch a very early morning flight. What ever would I do without him! It was a comfy flight, no turbulence and my anticipation of seeing Regena had me very excited.

We drove straight to her apartment and I was in awe of her neighbor hood.  The apartment was great and the houses on the cross street were amazing. We set out on foot to visit her campus.  Which was so beautiful.  We went to a fabulous movie theater in downtown LA then home for some supper.




The next morning we set out for Griffith Observatory.  A fun hike from the park at the bottom to the Observatory at the top.  The planetarium show was awesome and the exhibits really fun.









Then it was off to Hollywood!  Hollywood was everything I expected and even more.  It was fun to think of the history of this studio driven era of movie making.   We of course went to Grauman's Chinese Theater.

    

And all the handprints in concrete!








Who could resist trying out Marilyn Monroe's hands,   wow! we have the same sized hands!  And of course the famous walk of fame   and finding our favorite stars!

Then off to the historic LA Farmers Market.  What a wonderful experience. So much wonderful food and produce and meats and all sorts of shops to buy delightful things.



Then we had a delightful dinner at Little Dom's in Lox Feliz.
A perfect end to a perfect day.



The next day saw us on our way to the Getty Center. If ever you go to L.A. , this is a must see.  It actually could be a two day event, there is so much to see.  We visited the exhibit of illuminated manuscripts from Belgium and the Netherlands   and then the ones from France.  We saw the painting which were amazing and to see The Irises by Van Gogh up close and personal was truly exciting.

Next stop Santa Moncia Beach
Stopping on the pier for a little pier food to munch on the beach!

Then back to the apartment for a fine dinner, via a trip to Trader Joes.


My January vacation and get rid of the after Christmas blues was perfect in every way.  Like piglet said,
"It's so much more friendly with two"

December 2010

Christmas time,  I am ready, but it has been a year of joy and sadness for me.  It is a stranged mixed bag for me the year.  Ryan is gone, and the girls are far far away.   I wondered if i would feel like decorating,  getting everything out of the storage room and dealing with it all on my own.  The wonderful thing is I did feel like doing just that.   It makes me feel happy to see all the Christmas decorations around the house,  the things the girls and Ryan made throughout the years.

I got the outside lights done is very little time. I actually snowed on Dec 4, so everything looks beautiful. It has snowed several times, we have a good 8 inches on the ground still with more snow to come, today, in fact it is snowing now!  and more on Christmas Eve.   I am certainly thankful for a White Christmas.

It was snowing when Steve and I went to get the tree!  It was like magic.  I unfortunately forgot the camera, but the tree is beautiful.  We trudged through the snow pulling a two wheel cart and found the perfect tree. Steve cut it down and we drug it back to pay for it.  

The mantle is hosting the snow people, candles, the nutcrackers and of course the stockings are hung by the chimney with care,  even Ryan's stocking is there, even though he is gone.

So I guess I am ready for Christmas.  Christmas Eve will be a nice evening in front of the fire, with Steve and food of course and the film  It's a Wonderful Life to top it off.