A New Me

Tis the Season

2011-12-01T05:47:00.000-08:00

"This little green one here seems to need a home." Charlie Brown

Well it is the season. I look forward to the Christmas season all year long. I started watching Christmas movies in mid November. I have traditions I uphold, because i love them. I hang decorations that my children made so many years ago. It is my favorite time of the year.

So I am contemplating why I have a mixed bag of feelings this year. So many joyous feelings mixed with a bit of melancholy. Thinking about how much my mom loved Christmas and how many seasons she has been gone. My mother really loved Christmas and she held it in her heart all year long. She made each Christmas special when I was a little girl, that it became a part of who I am. I am missing her so much this year, perhaps it is because I am getting older. I am missing Ryan so much also. I have a pair of purple flannel pajamas that he bought me so many Christmases ago, and a purple night shirt, and a gold necklace that has two hearts, he told me it was mine and his. I miss him. I hung his stocking with the rest of ours, even though nothing will be put in the stocking. He is my son and just because he is not here on earth with me, he is in my heart.

So, I guess aging, is bringing on these thoughts of Christmases gone by,but thankfully, I still feel an enormous amount of joy and anticipation at this wondrous time of the year. I look forward to spending time with family and friends, and just enjoying the season.

Merry Christmas!

Moon

2011-11-10T05:25:00.000-08:00

"Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the Moon. July 1969AD. We came in peach for all mankind." Neill Armstrong

In my quest to find beauty in each day, I sometimes get bogged down by life itself. Most of the time my mind thinks I am 25 years old still. But, occasionally my body says" Oh no, you aren't 25 years old, you are more than twice that age! Thanks body for reminding me. I had a slight set back with my injured knee yesterday afternoon. I have been having increased mobility and feeling pretty good, even started taking the stairs again. Well, the knee rebelled, I stood up to do something at work and had searing pain in knee. I hobbled home, took ibuprofen and laid down. When i could move a little better I went to the store to procure a knee brace. You see, the new medical system at the clinic I go to is so bad, that when I told them i could not put any weight on the knee, they said "Well we can't get you in today, but i will leave a message for the nurse to call you back." Well later in the day, the nurse called. She could not even get me in the next day. I told her to forget about it! I would go buy a brace and take care of myself. I was a little annoyed.

So, feeling a bit down, I got up this morning, put the knee brace on and set out for work. Just as I turned the corner, the enormous full moon came into view in the western sky, which was totally clear, and the air was crisp and cool. It was so amazingly beautiful, I just forgot everything and was in awe.

"The moon is at her full and riding high, Floods the calm fields with light. The airs that hover in the summer sky Are all asleep tonight." William C. Bryant

So, thank you Earth for sending me that beautiful message this morning.

How my mind works

2011-11-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

"My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself the best I can." Cary Grant

Today I am feeling a bit anxious and a bit alone. I had a lovely weekend with my friends and with Steve.

I had a lovely dinner and chat with my good friend last night, still however, I am feeling like I just want someone to talk to right now at this moment.

I never quite understand where these feelings come from. Why am I such an emotional person? I have a lot of work to do and I am very grateful for that; I have a lovely family and I am grateful for that; I have a wonderful person to spend my life with and I am grateful for that; I have delightful and caring friends and I am grateful for that.

So i wonder why i get these overwhelming feelings of be alone and needing just to talk with someone.

Whatever the reason, just writing it down helps me to just put that feeling on a shelf and get on with the business of being happy.

FAT PANTS

2011-11-02T06:05:00.000-07:00

"Here's what I tell anybody and this is what I believe. The greatest gift we have is the gift of life. We understand that. That comes from our Creator. We're given a body. Now you may not like it, but you can maximize that body the best it can be maximized." Mike Ditka

Needless to say, I am feeling FAT! This morning i put on my black jeans, which at one time i called my fat pants, because i had lost enough weight that they were baggy. Well, I know i have been rather out of control lately, and I keep making excuses, but the fact is I AM FAT! I started a food diary, and have taken a long hard look at exactly what I am eating. No wonder I feel fat! I have gained back all the weight I lost, I have little desire to do much of anything and now I am flat out sick of the way I look.

Now I see this as a good thing. Because now I will take charge, get the will power fired up ( after all it really all comes down to will power, I mean I know how to eat properly, but I just don't) and give it a good try.

Partly I am blaming menopause. Yes it is true things move around post menopausal, and I am also blaming my alone time, which is a lot these days. I will sit around in the evening and eat when i am not even hungry and i blame being alone so much for that, and the fact that I am a stress eater.

But, when you can't stand the way you look, and your fat pants feel tight in the morning, it really is time to get back on a healthy eating plan. I need to turn down muffins and coffee cake at work and grab a cup of green tea instead. I need to grab a book instead of all those horrible things i have been eating in the evening.

"Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation, which are as necessary as reading.
I will rather say more necessary because health is worth more than learning. " Thomas Jefferson

Yes I truly believe TJ. My exercise routine has to get up to speed, once my injured ligament in the knee heals, I am thinking next week for sure, starting out slowly.

So FAT PANTS, watch out, I am going to put you in the back of the drawer and take out the jeans I bought last year and well actually can't zip now.

Autumn Color

2011-11-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

For the beauty of the earth
for the glory of the skies
for the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies
Lord of all to thee we raise
this our hymn of grateful praise
Folliott S. Pierpoint

The colors this autumn have been magnificent. I drove around after work looking for the most beautiful tree. I couldn't actually get a good photo of the tree i wanted, so I took off on a walk around my neighborhood. Not the best shot ever, and the color just didn't show up as well as I would like, but here it is anyway.

I am attempting to find some beauty every day. The amount of alone time I have now seems a bit overwhelming at times and I need to remind myself that there is beauty to be found in every day.

The color red, one of my favorites has been really prevalent in the trees in my neighborhood. It is also the color associated with my favorite baseball team, who by the way just won the WORLD SERIES. I have actually had the good fortune to see my team win the world series 3 times, and I am old enough to remember 1964 and 1967 although being a teenage girl then I just barely remember. But 2006 was so memorable because I was in Scotland with my Dad visiting my daughter and we got up to head for the train station to get to the airport very early; we switched on the telly and were able to see the Cardinals win the World Series. My dad proudly wore his red Cardinal hat all over Scotland, trying to get some information on how the series was going. I think I will remember this 2011 victory for a long time. Even though I had to watch game 7 alone, it was so thrilling. In 1982 my dad and I celebrated with champagne. For this win I celebrated by breaking the seal on my bottle of Oban 14 yr single malt, which i procured in Oban with my other daughter, while visiting her in May.

So I will continue to remember to find the beauty in each day, and not dwell on all that alone time I have now. For today, I found the early morning sky filled with the most beautiful and brilliant stars. The cool crisp air and the brilliance of the stars should be plenty of beauty to get me through today.

Riding the emotional roller coaster

2011-10-28T04:59:00.000-07:00

"Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health." Carl Jung

When I was in college, oh so many years ago, I took several courses in psychology, in truth, I really thought about majoring in that course of study. Carl Jung, i found him most interesting. As for this quotation, I just want to say really? why?

If you read the blog yesterday, you would know that I was all pumped up for a road trip. I went home from work, showered, did my hair, got off my knee for a while ( oh yes I have a strained ligament from Monday when I fell walking the dog; she could not help it if that squirrel ran right in front of her! I had the suitcase ready to go, a bag of munchies for the car and a cooler with lunch in it, sitting patiently waiting for Steve to arrive and whisk me off for fun and exciting getaway.

Well, when he came in the door, the look on his face gave me a real scare. I thought something really really bad had happened. My heart so to speak was in my mouth. Adrenaline was kicking in.

As it turns out, our road trip had to be cancelled. Steve was forced to work on Friday, even though he had the shift covered (which should be the director of nursings job). I felt so sad for him. But, you have to accept things you cannot change no matter how sad it feels.

I put all the food stuffs away, so the dog wouldn't ravage the bag, and we headed out to Krannert Center for Uncorked. A little wine and cheese and munchies to get our minds off our sadness. I started a game of Scrabble on Steve's IPad while he was up procuring our wine choice, a delightful Malbec from Argentina, with the taste of berries and chocolate. So we played and tried to relax. Went to Basil Thai for a bowl of delicious Tom Yum Noodle soup with vegetables and tofu to comfort ourselves. Then home to watch game 6 of the World Series.

Now that was a game for sure, and while I was on the emotional roller coaster anyway, I watched anxious and filled with dreadful thoughts. But, my team, the St. Louis Cardinals are a never say die kind of team, and while i turned off the tv in the bottom of the 9th for about 5 minutes, I ended up staying up until nearly midnight watching the fun and festivities of the St. Louis win, in the bottom of the 11th with two out and David Freese up to bat. How could I turn the set off after that! Had to hear all the interviews and rewatch the wonders of bottom of 9th, 10th and 11th innings.

So today, I am at work, exhausted emotionally. I have to say that the early morning sky was absolutey beautiful and clear, the stars were amazingly bright and Orion was just hanging there about my building.

So, happy, fearful, sad, anxious, relaxed, sad, anxious, dread filled, and then finally elated. How is that for a ride?!

Road Trip

2011-10-27T05:19:00.000-07:00

"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page." Saint Augustine

Travel, not a problem for me. I plan on filling my book with many pages. My Road Trip for this weekend will take Steve and I to beautiful South Carolina.

I really love Charleston, I have been there when my girls were young. When we drove up the avenue to Boone Hall plantation, we all exclaimed with delight, as we recognized the scenery. Little did we know before we drove down that avenue that our favorite tv mini series North and South was filmed here and we were driving up to Mont Royal! I think i will always remember how the girls and I felt that day.

The weather should be beautiful and we will be visiting Fort Sumter. Steve has not been there before and I delight in being able to go again.

There is nothing like a trip, even a short one to take away the cares of my world and transport me to somewhere magical. It tends to motivate me to try to accomplish more in my work and home.

Look for future posts of magical trips I was able to take this year.

Changes

2011-10-26T06:06:00.000-07:00

"Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Well, it has been a very long time since I have written a word. I have been undergoing many changes in my life all at once. The so called "change of life" that a woman goes through, is exactly that, a change of life. Almost everything about me seems different now. I am not sure i really know me any longer.

Menopause, accompanied by the fact that both children left the house the same year to go to graduate school, and the loss of one child, has made me feel and look different. I have been struggling with this change, in fact, I am not very good with change, even though i know it is a fact of life.

I don't seem to be able to gain control of my diet, it is really out of control. I don't want to clean the house regularly, or to do large projects, such as clean out my garage. I don't care about gardening anymore, it seems to be such a chore.

I long to just sit with a good book and a cup of tea, or watch a good movie, or travel.
I am very happy for my daughters. I think they are amazing, wonderful women.

I have a relationship with a loving and caring man, who sees to my every need. We travel together and have wonderful vacations and long weekends. We enjoy operas and eating out and hiking in beautiful locations, and museums.

So why might one as have I felt the need to write today. The answer is I just don't know. I know I have some hurdles to jump, and that i get through each day as it comes.

Funky Februrary

2011-02-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

"The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children." Elain Heffner

I am in my usual February funk. I get it every year. I think it may be a multi-faceted funk.

Tax time is rolling around and as usual I am thrown into the worrying of paying the taxes, I try to save the money every year so I don't worry, but alas it never seems to work. And now my paycheck will be getting smaller because even more will be going to the IRS and to the State of Illinois which is in dire straits! So pay raises are frozen, my check is getting smaller, all while I am working to decrease the amount of debt I have!

But I expect that the main reason I get this funk, is that 33 years ago my mom went into the hospital to have a simple procedure on done on her sinus cavities. She was in the hospital for about 2 weeks.

She never came home. My mom was the most delightful person. She had a love for life that was contagious. She mastered the art of mothering, because she gave me the gift of life, living it to the fullest, laughing and just enjoying life. I think I am optimistic, a glass is half full kind of woman, because of her.

I will always be grateful that Regena Daniels was my mom. My delightful son, Ryan is now with my mom again. She never got to know him as an adult here on earth, but I feel they are together now.

I will be glad to be past the first week of March!

January 2011

2011-01-19T08:21:00.000-08:00

"It's so much more friendly with two." Piglet

I refused to have the after Christmas blues. I get them every now and then, but this January I made plans to go to L. A. to visit Regena!

Steve and I had a lovely Christmas together. It was different for me not having either of my girls home. Oh I got to speak to them, Janet called from Germany on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Regena called from L.A. both days. It was lovely to hear their voices. But, I needed to see them.

I set out of a jet plane, all by myself! First time for everything. Darling Steve drove me to Chicago to catch a very early morning flight. What ever would I do without him! It was a comfy flight, no turbulence and my anticipation of seeing Regena had me very excited.

We drove straight to her apartment and I was in awe of her neighbor hood. The apartment was great and the houses on the cross street were amazing. We set out on foot to visit her campus. Which was so beautiful. We went to a fabulous movie theater in downtown LA then home for some supper.

The next morning we set out for Griffith Observatory. A fun hike from the park at the bottom to the Observatory at the top. The planetarium show was awesome and the exhibits really fun.

Then it was off to Hollywood! Hollywood was everything I expected and even more. It was fun to think of the history of this studio driven era of movie making. We of course went to Grauman's Chinese Theater.

And all the handprints in concrete!

Who could resist trying out Marilyn Monroe's hands, wow! we have the same sized hands! And of course the famous walk of fame and finding our favorite stars!

Then off to the historic LA Farmers Market. What a wonderful experience. So much wonderful food and produce and meats and all sorts of shops to buy delightful things.

Then we had a delightful dinner at Little Dom's in Lox Feliz.
A perfect end to a perfect day.

The next day saw us on our way to the Getty Center. If ever you go to L.A. , this is a must see. It actually could be a two day event, there is so much to see. We visited the exhibit of illuminated manuscripts from Belgium and the Netherlands and then the ones from France. We saw the painting which were amazing and to see The Irises by Van Gogh up close and personal was truly exciting.

Next stop Santa Moncia Beach
Stopping on the pier for a little pier food to munch on the beach!

Then back to the apartment for a fine dinner, via a trip to Trader Joes.

My January vacation and get rid of the after Christmas blues was perfect in every way. Like piglet said,
"It's so much more friendly with two"

December 2010

2010-12-20T09:38:00.000-08:00

Christmas time, I am ready, but it has been a year of joy and sadness for me. It is a stranged mixed bag for me the year. Ryan is gone, and the girls are far far away. I wondered if i would feel like decorating, getting everything out of the storage room and dealing with it all on my own. The wonderful thing is I did feel like doing just that. It makes me feel happy to see all the Christmas decorations around the house, the things the girls and Ryan made throughout the years.

I got the outside lights done is very little time. I actually snowed on Dec 4, so everything looks beautiful. It has snowed several times, we have a good 8 inches on the ground still with more snow to come, today, in fact it is snowing now! and more on Christmas Eve. I am certainly thankful for a White Christmas.

It was snowing when Steve and I went to get the tree! It was like magic. I unfortunately forgot the camera, but the tree is beautiful. We trudged through the snow pulling a two wheel cart and found the perfect tree. Steve cut it down and we drug it back to pay for it.

The mantle is hosting the snow people, candles, the nutcrackers and of course the stockings are hung by the chimney with care, even Ryan's stocking is there, even though he is gone.

So I guess I am ready for Christmas. Christmas Eve will be a nice evening in front of the fire, with Steve and food of course and the film It's a Wonderful Life to top it off.

The best of times the worst of times

2010-10-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cities.

I am particularly drawn to the first paragraph of A Tale of Two Cities this morning. Something my cousin posted on facebook got me to thinking about this book. I really love Charles Dickens and soon it will be time to listen to Patrick Stewart read A Christmas Carol. I plan to listen to that at least 5 or 6 times before Christmas!

But I digress, back to the best of times, the worst of times. I have been feeling so uncertain about the time I am living in. There seems to be even more division in this country in the political climate. There seem to be so many radicals and very few reasonable thinkers. The upcoming election is full of nothing but negativity. All of the ads are bashing the opponent. Someone told me it is effective. That makes me feel very sad about the American public.

There is so much more crime on campus this year, that it is frankly just frightening. A young woman getting some cash from an ATM at 7:30pm was accosted by a knife wielding thief. She gave up the money and was not hurt. I am so not a paranoid person, I don't worry about being mugged or robbed, but this just makes you stop and think. I am also fortunate to have an auto and I can drive up to the ATM and never have to get out of the car.

I have also been feeling just not like myself. Too much sadness and stress in my life I guess. I thank God for all that I have and I believe me I have a lot, not money, but the things that count, love and family and friendship.

Now for those books, here is a partial list of books I want to read: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows(the movie is coming out and I want to read the book again just before the film)

The Claddagh Ring

An Echo in the Bone(just need to finish, I am almost there)

A Tale of Two Cities

The rest of the Princess Diaries (just plain fun)

A book on how to get out of debt and financial planning of which i cannot remember the title, but a friend recommended it and it is sitting on my shelf

This coming weekend, I will sleep in on Saturday, go to workout, sweep the floors, make some soup and then settle in with a good book!

Autumn

2010-10-22T07:53:00.000-07:00

"There is a harmony
In Autumn, and a lustre in its sky,
Which through the summer is not heard or seen,
As if it could not be, as if it had not been!"
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Autumn is absolutely my favorite time of the year. This morning as I was driving in to work at six o'clock, in the cool crisp autumn air, a full moon was shining brightly in the western sky. The light was shining through trees at times and I was again awestruck at the beauty of the morning.

I truly enjoy driving to work on nearly deserted streets, in the quiet of a cool dark morning. Soon we will be turning those clocks back an hour and my drive to work will be more in the light. So I am planning on enjoying every moment of the drive to work in the dark morning while I can.

So many things to do in the fall. Like visits to the orchard, with a wagon load of fall mums, just waiting to add a splash of color in your garden and

picking apples

carving pumpkins and looking forward to Thanksgiving.

It is a wonderful time of the year.

Dublin

2010-09-30T06:29:00.000-07:00

"I want to give a picture of Dublin so complete that if the city suddenly disappeared from the earth it could be reconstructed out of my book." James Joyce

On my last visit to Dublin, with Steve, we suddenly found ourselves at the Wax Museum in Dublin. After visiting Trinity College to view the Book of Kells, and having an enormous lunch at O'Neills,

(only in Ireland do you get potatoes with your potatoes!) we had time to use before we could check into Barnacles, so we used our discount from the Dublin Hop on Hop Off bus to check out the wax museum.

It was very entertaining. They start you out in the Writer's Room, where sat James Joyce, Oscar Wilde, Peter Kavanaugh, Samuel Beckett and Brendan Behan.

Some of the figures appeared strangely real.

Now I have been fascinated with Irish writers for awhile. I picked up Ulysses at the library, but didn't have any time to actually sit down with it and read. In college we touched on the subject of Joyce and Ulysses. I have always wanted to actually read the book. So while walking along a street in Galway, I drug Steve into a bookstore. I found a paperback of Ulysses for 3 Eruos and while perusing the store I also bought a biography of a journalist (man) who spent a year living on the Aran Island of Inis Mor. Now after visting that island, i just had to purchase this book also. Am I the only person who goes to Ireland and brings back books?

Our last day in Dublin we were signed up for the Literary Pub Crawl. Now I am here to say this is well worth the effort. We stopped in at Davey Byrnes pub for supper and a drink before we checked in at The Duke to begin the pub crawl. I was going to order a Gorgonzola sandwich, but they were out, so I had a bowl of soup and brown bread. Now the pub crawl also ends at Davey Byrnes pub (after a stop at O'Neills and the Strand) and we learned that James Joyce frequented Davey Byrnes, while writing Ulysses, eating a gorgonzola sandwich, he set a scene in Davey Byrnes pub.

So now I really need to sit down and read the book. I believe I will have time this fall, when I can sit in front of a fire in the fireplace with a cup of tea and read.

It's Hockey Night in Urbana!

2010-09-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

"Always keep your composure. You can't score from the penalty box; and you need to score to win." Bobby Hull

Wow! I a can barely believe the Illini Ice Hockey season starts today! I stopped in at the ice arena and picked up tickets for Friday's game.

The team will be quite different this year, both goalies graduated, and they were awesome. A lot of players are new. I am excited to be in the ice arena again, hear the roar of the crowd and see the Illini skate.

Thanks to the full moon

2010-09-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

Backing out of the drive way this morning I was struck with how beautifully the sun was rising. The sun was peeking out of the bottom of a cloud and was quite lovely. Then I headed west and was awestruck. The full moon was enormous and bright in the western sky. Living on the prairie has some advantages, such as seeing a large portion of sky. I am fairly certain the autumnal equinox is one of my favorite times of the year.

So, I just returned from a week in Ireland. A magical, transformative week, and I have been longing to be there still. Having to return to work and get back to normal, not to mention I came home to an empty house, which was terribly difficult, has been a struggle. The glow from the week in Ireland has been keeping me going. So when I saw the sun and the moon this morning( I wish the weather had cooperated and stayed cool instead of being terribly warm) I felt very good about being here in Illinois.

It was an amazing week in Dublin, Wicklow, Glendalough, Galway, The Burren ( including a delightful lunch in the town of Doolin) the Cliffs of Moher, and Inis Mor one of the Aran Islands. The people are delightful, and full of stories, the pubs are amazing, one could spend a lot of nighttime in just about any pub and be perfectly happy.

The beauty of the countryside was truly awesome. I really could have stayed for several days in each place we visited.

Dublin, while being a big city is fair indeed, like the song says. There is so much to do and see and historic pubs to visit. You can sit in a pub where James Joyce sat eating Gorgonzola sandwhiches and having a few pints (which i did actually) and visit a pub where Michael Collins held meetings. It is just amazing. Really!

Here is a bit of a tribute to Dublin:

In Dublin's fair city,

where the girls are so pretty,

I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone,

As she wheeled her wheel-barrow,

Through streets broad and narrow,

Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

"Alive, alive, oh,

Alive, alive, oh",

Crying "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh".

She was a fishmonger,

But sure 'twas no wonder,

For so were her father and mother before,

And they each wheeled their barrow,

Through streets broad and narrow,

Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"

(chorus)

She died of a fever,

And no one could save her,

And that was the end of sweet Molly Malone.

Now her ghost wheels her barrow,

Through streets broad and narrow,

Crying, "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh

This statue of the fictional Molly Malone is at the corner of Sussex and Grafton Street and near Trinity College. The locals call her the "tart with the cart" or the "trollop with the scallop". They love to sing the song to tourist and there is ALWAYS a female tourist getting her photo made with Molly. It is truly delightful.

Urbana Sweet Corn Festival

2010-08-27T11:19:00.000-07:00

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." Sophocles

One might ask, " What does love have to do with the Urbana Sweet Corn Festival?" Well I will tell you.
Two years ago, the Urbana Sweet Corn Festival began on Friday evening August 22. I met Steve at the Courier Cafe that evening. I wasn't feeling the best i have ever felt and he had to go to work at 11:00pm, but that meeting changed my life. So thank you Urbana Sweet Corn Festival!

The next weekend on August 31 Steve picked me up and we took off for the Allerton Barn Music Festival to see Pacifica Quartet. This was the beginning of the best relationship I have ever had.

Now, two years later we will be at the Urbana Sweet Corn Festival on Saturday to eat some corn, Xinh Xinh will be serving Sweet Corn Egg rolls and Sweet corn Naitaing, and there will be ears of sweet corn and lemon shake ups and snow cones! Then a chance to hear the Delta Kings.

It will be fun to be on the streets of downtown Urbana eating sweet corn. I love it that Steve and I met during the Sweet Corn Festival and he use to grow corn. Sort of corny, but it makes me smile!

My university town

2010-08-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."

Martha Washington

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently, I read a blog post, about the town I live in and it painted Urbana-Champaign in a very negative light.

I have been reading this person’s blog, off and on for a few years. I stopped reading because I just couldn’t take it anymore, all the negativity.

So I began searching for some positive attitude quotations and was delighted to find Martha Washington expressing exactly how I feel about life and happiness.

I have had a tremendous amount of change in my life. I, like Martha, learned from all this change (yes some of if was terribly sad change) that I am responsible for my happiness. I don’t look to the circumstance I am placed in to be happy. I look to myself, and my attitude.

I was also happy to find my dear old friend Ralph Waldo Emerson had something to say about positive attitudes. I can always count on Emerson to have exactly the right words, that I cannot come up with on my own.

My town, Urbana-Champaign, has so much to offer anyone who is willing to make the effort to be happy.

I was at the wine tasting yesterday at Krannert Center for the Performing Arts. This is a free event, you don’t have to spend anything if you don’t want. There were two young

children running around playing while the parents, tried the wine and listened to the music.

I was happy to see that these parents brought the kids along to be around a variety of people, to hear some good guitar music and to just have the chance to experience something other than the pop culture icons the children of today are bombarded with.

University towns have so much to offer everyone that is fortunate enough to live in them, especially families .

My children are grown, we always lived in university towns, and loved them all. My children were given as many opportunities and experiences we could give them. We did not rely soley on the current pop culture children’s tv and video of the day, or on just play dates. We brought our girls to just about every event we went to and let them have people of all ages to talk to and be around.

So for anyone coming to Urbana-Champaign, welcome and seek to find the best we have to offer.

Falling

2010-08-12T05:56:00.000-07:00

"The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say." Mark Twain

Lately I seem to be even more clumsy than normal. I have now fallen down twice in the last two weeks!
It has been quite awhile since my last fall, which was on the street in Chicago, but twice in two weeks is just crazy!

I know I have been preoccupied, but both times that I have fallen, I was in a pretty good mood, happy even, at least on the conscious level, and those falls seem to have come out of nowhere.

The first fall, i caught my shoe in a crack in the sidewalk going in to work. I went face first, down on the ground, splat. Bruised and slightly embarrassed, okay really.

Yesterday, I worked all day, went to the gym and did cardio for 45 minutes, then lifted weights for about 35 minutes. Feeling energized, and sweaty, I proceeded to pull the extremely long blades of grass that were hiding my zinnias ( I mean you could probably make a thatched roof out of that grass). Tired and even more sweaty, I went in and fed the dogs and let them out. I proceeded to shower. It felt great, washed my hair and everything. I through on a big tee shirt, hair in towel and started down the now empty hallway to let the dogs in. When out of nowhere, my still wet foot slipped on the wood floor and down I went, with my knee bent and my lower leg behind, as if I was actually doing quadricep exercises!
Well I lay there in astonishment, for about 10 seconds, that I was actually on the ground again. I then began to laugh and cry at the same time. Finally, I got up let the dogs in, combed my hair, fixed some nachos and got in bed with an ice pack on my knee!

Did that get me down? No way. I got up dressed and went to the movies with my dear friend at 9:15pm!

I think maybe I had better keep my mind on just walking and try to actually stay upright for a while.

Advice

2010-08-11T07:45:00.000-07:00

No matter who says what, you should accept it with a smile and do your own work

Mother Teresa

The other day I came across this absolutely marvelous quotation from Mother Teresa. Now I think Mother Teresa is one of the true heroes of our times. She was totally amazing and helped so many people.

This simple little statement made me smile. I guess I have been a person who listens to what people say, but I seem to always do things the way I want them done. I am quite sure I am different than a lot of other people.

Take my gardens for instance, I love the patch of Queen Ann's Lace that started growning in my front yard. One year I sprinkled some wild flower seeds in a small patch of dirt in the front of the house. For a year nothing came up, then a few Queen Ann's Lace appeared. Now there is a fine bit of wild flowers just growing. I will have to thin them out next year if they come back, but I find them totally beautiful!

My other flower gardens are sort of haphazard, and right now are overcome with grasses, which are just too persistent, which I haven't had time to remove because I have been totally consumed with getting Regena ready for her move to LA and spending a lot of quality time with her doing fun things.

Now I will have time to attack those grasses.

So thanks Mother Teresa for such words of wisdom and for all the help you gave people for your life.

My time is definitely changing

2010-08-06T11:04:00.000-07:00

I love this song. It was relevant

when it was written

and it  seems timeless.

   

Come gather 'round people 
Wherever you roam 
And admit that the waters 
Around you have grown
 And accept it that soon 
You'll be drenched to the bone.
 If your time to you Is worth savin' 
Then you better start swimmin' 
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.  
 
Come writers and critics 
Who prophesize with your pen
 And keep your eyes wide 
The chance won't come again 
And don't speak too soon
 For the wheel's still in spin 
And there's no tellin' who 
That it's namin'.
 For the loser now Will be later to win
 For the times they are a-changin'.  
Come senators, congressmen 
Please heed the call
 Don't stand in the doorway
 Don't block up the hall 
For he that gets hurt 
Will be he who has stalled 
There's a battle outside 
And it is ragin'.
 It'll soon shake your windows 
And rattle your walls
 For the times they are a-changin'. 
Come mothers and fathers 
Throughout the land 
And don't criticize 
What you can't understand 
Your sons and your daughters 
Are beyond your command
 Your old road is Rapidly agin'. 
Please get out of the new one 
If you can't lend your hand 
For the times they are a-changin'.  
The line it is drawn 
The curse it is cast 
The slow one now 
Will later be fast 
As the present now Will later be past 
The order is Rapidly fadin'. 
And the first one now 
Will later be last
 For the times they are a-changin'.


I am not quite sure of the how or why things happen when 
they do, but I think there must be a plan.

2010 so far has been a year of joy and pain and heart ache. 
Having to deal with Ryan's death and both girls moving away 
from home in the same year, is a
tremendous amount for my emotional self to deal with.
Having Steve in my life has been an amazing bit of luck. 
We have already had so much fun and done so many things, 
that it is almost too good to be true.  
We have an upcoming trip to Ireland in September, 
which comes at a perfect time 
for me. 
We have tons of things planned for the fall and winter 
at Krannert.  

I was able to spend a wonderful time with my Dad 
and my sister and my brother and his wife in Ireland.
I enjoyed an impromptu 3 day vacation with my sister 
and niece and great niece.  

I have good friends who I will definitely
 be spending time with.  
I have so much to  look forward to this fall 
and the new year. 

Ryan is with me always, sometimes more than others. 
My mom is with me too.
My girls will be in touch and I will get to visit.

While my time is definitely changing,
I plan to make the most of it.

2010-07-30T05:15:00.000-07:00

Last week some time, I checked out the positive quote of the day on the dashboard on my computer. I really liked the quote, so here it is:

"Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point." Harold B. Melchart

For some reason that quote struck me as profound. Of course it really is much the same as stop and smell the roses.

I had an impromptu vacation this week. Regena needed to get to Lambert Airport in St. Louis on Monday. She flew out to LA for three days, so she needed to be picked up on Wednesday.

I have quite a few vacations days that I haven't taken, because sometimes, I just work to hard!

So, I took 3 days vacation, dropped Regena off at the airport on Monday morning and headed to my sister's house for a visit. We spent three days together, having fun with Emma and Michelle, we watched some movies, ate some delicious food, splashed in a wave pool, went to the zoo, accomplished shopping for a wedding we are all going to on Sunday, read a book, did some crocheting with Emma, had a couple of Mojitos with Michelle, walked down to the river and spent some time just remembering growing up in Alton. I had just a marvelous time!

I must remember to not get entirely caught up in work, and take my vacations days. Often even the simplest things can be so relaxing.

Of course, I am headed to Ireland again in September and I am totally looking forward to that.

So, have a goal, but don't miss the fun things along the way, is what I have learned this week.

The nearly empty nest

2010-07-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-rearing, they are unemployed. Erma Bombeck

Well it is just about that time, again. My daughters are off to grad school, very soon. Which, I might add, I am very happy about.

But, I faced empty nest when they were both in college living in a dorm or in an apartment.

Then one came home, until she decided exactly what she wanted to do with her life. It has been very nice having her home. She comes and goes as she pleases, but we have had some quality time the last two years, just hanging out at home.

I will miss her, when she moves in just less than a month.

Her sister, just graduated and will be heading off to Scotland for grad school, which i am very excited for her to be able to do this.

It is very strange going to bed at night knowing that I am alone in the house, with just the dogs and the cat. Knowing that I won't hear them coming in late at night and getting ready for bed. The rooms seem so empty without the girls.

I am very fortunate that I have Steve, who keeps me busy, and all my delightful friends that I do fun things with.

But I have to say it is very difficult adjusting to having no children in the house.

Will I be okay, sure i will, but i will still be a little sad, i cannot help that.

Dreaming

2010-07-02T08:26:00.000-07:00

"Dreams are necessary to life." Anais Nin

Dreams are fascinating and sometimes scary. I seem to have some very vivid dreams at times. Of course, I also have been known to have nightmares since I was 16 years old.

Last night I dreamed that I had to get a new cell phone, but I didn't want a new cell phone. I really wanted my green cell phone, I love my green cell phone. When I got the new phone, which was pretty cool, I just wanted to be able to use my green cell phone, but it only played games!

Why in the world would I be dreaming about cell phones and why am I so attached to my current green cell phone?, I asked myself this morning.

So I looked at a dream interpretation site, in the dream dictionary. This is what it had to say:

"to use a cell phone in your dream, indicates that you are being receptive to new information. It also represents your mobility.

To dream that you lost your cell phone, represents a lack of communication. You have lost touch with some aspect of your feelings or your Self. If you find a cell phone, then it symbolizes reconnection and reopened communication."

So much like my personality, I am totally complex. I was both using my cell phone and losing my cell phone. So does that mean I am receptive to new information and ready to go on a trip(Ireland in September?) and that I have lost some aspect of my feelings or my Self. And to top it off I found a cell phone, so I reopened communication?

Who knows but I think maybe my attachment to my green cell phone holds a deeper meaning, somehow.

Dieting

2010-06-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

"Sieze the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waves off the dessert cart. Erma Bombeck

Perhaps I have been seizing too many moments! Once upon a time I lost 25 pounds. I did it fairly easily. I was very good, and only ate healthy food, lots of protein and fewer carbs. I had convinced myself that I had made a real life style change.

Then the unspeakable happened. My beloved son died and suddenly I have no control over my mind. I try and try and do well for a few days, but then I get an uncontrollable urge for potato chips and candy. I seize the moment when i feel like that, but unfortunately I have been feeling like that too often.

I was reading an article today that pointed out the difference between happiness and your pleasure center. I am happy most of the time. I have many things to be happy about. I have a wonderful man who loves me and two very beautiful intelligent daughters who spend time with me.

Come September, things will change again in my life. Both girls will be heading off to grad school, one in California and the other in Scotland. I will be alone in my house again for the first time in 2 years. I am so very excited for both the girls. And I will still have Steve, who keeps me busy and happy!

I still have 15 pounds to lose.

So, I should be able to just say no to those urges when they hit, or at least, only say yes once in a while. Can I do it? Yes I think I can.

Grief

2010-06-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

For certain is death for the born

And Certain is birth for the dead;

Therefore over the inevitable

Thou shouldst not gireve

Bhagavad Gita

I feel so out of control. I can't seem to manage my diet or much else in my life. I feel unorganized and just sort of blah most of the time. I manage to have some fun. My friends and family are so good to me. But, the fact of the matter is I am still grieving. I will be grieving for quite a while.

I feel certain I will snap out of this funk at some point. I have so much in my life to be thankful for.

The key point I have just realized is that I feel even more afraid now that something will happen to the people I love the most. Now that it has happened, with my son's death, I feel even more fearful that it will happen again. I think this above all is what is really wrong with me.

How do I get this out of my head? Who knows. I just try to put it on a shelf and live each and enjoy the time I have with the people I love. My rational mind tells me to stop thinking such thing,of which I have no control. My emotional self just worries.

I am getting on a plane headed for Ireland. I will be with my Dad, my sister, my brother and his wife. I am very excited about spending this time with my dad, but I will be worrying about the girls, and the dog. I am excited to see Ireland ( I will be in Killarney and can't help but think about the song Christmas in Killarney, by Bing Crosby). BUT here is the problem, I have to GET ON A PLANE and CROSS THE ATLANTIC to get there. This is a little scary.

So just putting these thoughts out there seems to help. I don't feel hopeless, in fact I am full of hope. I think I just feel sad.

Wine and Cheese

2010-06-03T13:29:00.001-07:00

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."

W.C. Fields

Wine and cheese what could be a better combination. Today is Thursday and that means a trip to Krannert center for Uncorked!

Thursdays are often my most relaxing day. It doesn't matter what has gone on at work, how harried I have been all day, just knowing that at 4:30pm Steve will retrieve me and off we go to sip wine and eat cheese!

Sometimes there is a bonus, music with wine and cheese and Steve. Now how could I ask for more.

Today has been very satisfying at work. I have actually written most of the report I have had on my desk for weeks. Finishing something that you want to work on but, just can't get to because a hundred other things pop up, is extremely satisfying.

So, come join Steve and I at Krannert for a little wine and a little cheese and a little music by the Pain Killers!

Grumpy

2010-06-02T05:01:00.001-07:00

Grumpy, tired, not fit to be around. Well, these adjectives so describe me this morning.

For whatever dumb reasons I can come up with I fit this description. Do I want to be grumpy, tired, not fit to be around. The answer is emphatically NO!

So, I read this blog this morning that I think is wonderful, and it started me on a journey to just change my attitude this morning, quit being sorry for myself that I can't have ice cream or potato chips and lose the weight I am trying to lose, that I work so much, when I get home I am exhausted, that i get tired of doing dishes and cleaning the house and taking care of every stupid weed in my endless gardens, that I never have time to just chill with a good book.

Then I shopped in quotations and came up with this marvelous quote by Martha Washington

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be in; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."

So I thank you Martha Washington and one of my favorite bloggers, for showing me the errors of my ways! I feel so much better now, I can tackle anything with a smile today.

What to do with myself now?

2010-05-26T04:30:00.000-07:00

"Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy." W. Somerset Maugham

So much in my world is changing. I have never been very good at change, even though I realize that change is the only constant a person can count on in this world.

My youngest daughter graduated with highest honors from the University of Illinois this May. Not only do I now really feel my age, I feel the winds of change coming my way. I am so proud of my daughter. She worked so diligently for 4 years to maintain the highest standards of education and she achieved her goal, by graduation as a Chancellor scholar and receiving the Bronze Tablet. She will be leaving for St. Andrews University in Scotland to get a Masters Degree in Social Psychology this September. I will miss her.

My other very clever daughter, who took some time off after graduating from U of I, to pick up some baking skills(and boy is she good) will be heading off to USC for graduate school in the Cinema Arts. I am so proud of her and I will really miss her, but I am so excited for her to be following her dream.

My son, passed from this world in March. This is about the biggest change to try to cope with. I still feel like I will pick up the phone and hear his voice, or see his big hearted smile when I open the door and get the biggest best hug from him. But, I know that will never happen here on this earth again. I may look like I am coping with this change to the people around me, but really I am just putting on a good front. My emotions are even more near to the surface than they usually are, and I am a very emotional person. Little stupid things can bring me to tears. A sudden movement or a loud noise can startle me so that I jump practically out of my skin. I carry him in my heart at all times. I think about him in just about everything I do. I am coping, I am grieving, but I will just keep on keeping on.

So, big changes for me come September. I will be alone in the house, really alone. What will I do with myself with all that alone time? It will be so strange at first. I will feel sad, I am sure, but then I will pick up a book from my increasing stack of books, that I can't seem to find the time to read even though I really want to, and a glass of diet pepsi, or a glass of red wine and just kick back and try to be calm. I will talk to Janet in Scotland via Skype. I will talk to Regena on the phone and I will talk to Ryan in my prayers.

I am quite sure Steve will keep me busy with wonderful things and I have a trip to Ireland in September to look forward to that will ease the impending change. I am so thankful for Steve and for all my children and family and friends who keep me grounded.

Going to Ireland

2010-05-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

"Well, then. Now. I'll begin at the beginnin'. A fine soft day in the spring, it was, when the train pulled into Castletown, three hours late as usual, and himself got off. He didn't have the look of an American tourist at all about him. Not a camera on him; what was worse, not even a fishin' rod. " Father Peter Lonegran Narrator

One of my favorite films is The Quiet Man starring John Wayne, Maureen O'Hara, Victor McLaglen and Barry Fitzgerald. It is set in a small town called Innisfree. Since I first began watching this film, I have had a strong desire to travel to Ireland.

Well my dreams are coming true. Steve gave me a trip to Ireland for Christmas! We will be going in September and i have already planned a wonderful trip. We will be starting in Dublin, heading south to Glendalough and Wicklow then hopping the train to Galway Bay. We will be seeing the Cliffs of insanity aka The Cliffs of Moher and hopping a ferry over to the Aran Islands where we will taking a pony cart, much like the one in the film.

But wait, it gets even better! My dad is taking my sister and me to Ireland in June! Boy do I need these vacations, with all that I have been dealing with in real life. Just to be able to let loose and not be responsible for anything but having fun! My brother and his wife will be joining us and Pat will be driving us around in Ireland, visiting Killarney, Limmerick, The Ring of Kerry, Rathburn Farm. I am so looking forward to the trip. Spending time with my Dad in Ireland is going to be a memory I will cherish forever.

2010-04-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

"Be open to your dreams, people. Embrace that distant shore. Because our mortal journey is over all too soon." David Assael Northern Exposure

On March 5, 2005, my son, Ryan Michael Morris passed from this world.

He was an amazing person, kind and gentle and loving. He had many friends.

For most of the first 8 years of his life, it was just him and me. We laughed and played and enjoyed life. He made me laugh every day with his imagination and his special way of expressing himself. We lived with my dad and my younger brothers, as my mom passed from this world when I was just 22 years old. I divorced soon after my mom's passing. Being the only girl in a house of males was very interesting. Ryan had the best role model for being a male in my Dad. He grew very close to his grandfather who he called poppy. All the grand kids call him Poppy to this day.

Losing a child is the most awful thing a mother can experience. I force my self to get up every morning and I breath, I go to work and try to stay focused. I eat and laugh and get through. But, Ryan is always in my heart.

I miss him terribly. He was 33 years old and lived in a town 3 hours south of me and I haven't been able to see him as much as I would have liked these last years. But, he was an adult with a life of his own. I have many photos and many cherished memories and I will hold him in my heart until I see him again.

February

2010-02-03T05:19:00.000-08:00

"The three great essentials to achieving anything worthwhile are first; hard work, second stick-to-it-iveness and, third, common sense." Thomas Alva Edison

Well it is February again, but this year I don't have that February Funk. You know that really bad things happened in February and those memories made February my least favorite month funk?

While my mom did die at the end of February and that will always make me feel sad, the other bad associations are gone! Finally. Steve chased them all away for me!

I came across this quotation by Edison this morning and realized that the path to true love was very much like the essence of the quotation. It was really hard work, finding a love that won't let me down, and who truly cares about my needs. Second I am so stubborn that I definitely have that stick-to-it-iveness ( I just love this word), I waited a long time to find love and thirdly, common sense, It really didn't take much to see how right Steve was for me.

So I welcome February with open arms this year. I am grateful for all that I have.

Now to tackle the mountain of debt I have acquired these last 10 years of single parenting! I will be like the little engine that can, I think I can I think I can!

A New Interest

2010-01-25T06:57:00.000-08:00

Charles Rennie MacIntosh and Frank Lloyd Wright

My new interest that I will now be looking up everything I can find is the Arts and Crafts movement in Britain and the US. The artist/architect Charles Rennie MacIntosh and Frank Lloyd Wright really caught my attention this weekend at the Arts of the Apostles Exhibit at the Art Institute in Chicago.

Now I had a passing interest in the Arts and Crafts movement years ago when I lived in a Craftsman Bungalow in Oklahoma, but now I have an avid interest in researching both MacIntosh and Wright.

I would love to go back to Scotland and see some of the original MacIntosh designs.

For now I will have to settle for finding out all I can in books and on the web.

Saint Vincent De Paul

2010-01-21T05:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I attended a dinner at my church. Every Tuesday I volunteer at the Saint Vincent De Paul food pantry at our church. My job is to record the names and address of the people who come to get food. The food pantry that we get our food from requires record keeping, to insure that the commodities are not being wasted.

My girls hand out the bags of food to the people. The hungry get a bag of dry goods and a bag of fresh foods which always includes a protein, usually a meat like chicken or turkey. Large families get two bags of the dry goods.

I see the same people every week, or every other week. I feel like they are my friends. It is very humbling to stand and have conversations with these people who are down on their luck and trying to feed their families.

We used to think that if we had 25 people in line it was a lot. Well this last Tuesday we handed out food to 46 families, and that didn't seem so bad as we have had up to 70 families at times in the half hour that we are there to distribute food.

Our church decided to have a dinner for the clients of SVDP and the volunteers. At first I didn't really want to go. I had to work all day then go and be friendly. But, I went and I have to say that it was one of the best experiences ever. There were a lot of volunteers and I didn't have much to do, but sit and talk to the people and eat with them. It was richly rewarding.

So here are a few quotations that I was inspired to read and want to share.

Charity is commendable; everyone should be charitable. But justice aims to create a social order in which, if individuals choose not to be charitable, people still don’t go hungry, unschooled or sick without care. Charity depends on the vicissitudes of whim and personal wealth; justice depends on commitment instead of circumstance. Faith-based charity provides crumbs from the table; faith-based justice offers a place at the table. Bill Moyers

The Seven Social Evils:  Wealth Without Work  Pleasure Without Conscience  Knowledge Without Character  Commerce Without Morality  Science Without Humanity  Worship Without Sacrifice  Politics Without Principles Ghandi

To a man with an empty stomach food is God Ghandi

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist

Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control. Universal Declaration of Human Rights: Article 25 (1948)

Can't Help Falling in Love with you

2010-01-08T08:04:00.000-08:00

Today Elvis would have been 75 years old. Here's to you Elvis, Happy birthday. Gone too soon.

My favorite song is from my favorite movie, Blue Hawaii. Always think about my friend Ang when I watch and about Steve when I listen. NPR is streaming his greatest hits. It is a great snowy day to work and listen to Elvis.

Can't help falling in love with you.

Snow Satisfied

2010-01-07T08:02:00.000-08:00

I have to say I am snow satisfied. The snow began last evening soft and small and light. It snowed all night, 3 inches by the time I woke for work.

My darling daughter Regena shoveled the drive while I prepared our lunch and breakfast to go for the day.

We drove on snow covered streets early in the morning. The car lights on the new fallen snow gave a luster to the beautiful morning. We had no trouble, it was an easy snow on which to drive.

We arrived at work and I opened the window shades, fairly soon the snowflakes were enormous and the scene outside the window was perfection.

So here again is my favorite Christina Rossetti poem (which is also a fabulous song that was done as a solo at church recently by a brilliant singer)

In the bleak midwinter

Frosty wind made moan,

Earth stood hard as iron,

Water like a stone;

Snow had fallen,

snow on snow

Snow on snow,

In the bleak midwinter, Long ago.

If only i knew how to ski or snowshoe!

Automobiles and random thoughts

2010-01-06T05:09:00.000-08:00

"When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile. Bob Edwards

"In my case, the listener is often in an automobile driving to work. You can concentrate on the road while still getting an audio message that can be riveting. Bob Edwards

Okay my thoughts are all over the place this morning, but all seem to be connected in some random way.

Firstly, my car is in the shop. My beloved Hero was coughing and spitting on start up, but then rallying and driving beautifully, so I took her to the car doctor to see what's up. Hopefully she will be back with me soon.

Secondly, I was talking to Steve just last night as he was chauffeuring me and my daughter around, about Bob Edwards from NPR and how I used to love waking up to the sound of his voice. It took me a few minutes to come up with his last name, but I had Bob. So what better quote to use about cars, than Bob Edwards. I thought that was pretty awesome to find those quotations, when I am thinking about my car and about Bob Edwards.

Thirdly, If I could afford a new car I might just go for a 2010 Ford Fusion Hybrid!

Next, oh no! I have totally lost the last thought! Well I have to say at least that I have the best friends in the world and the best man. They rose to the occasion when i was in need and I thank them and love them.

Oh yes, I remember, I looked at the quotes of the day on this blog and saw Howard Nemerov, I actually met him and he spoke in one of my classes so many years ago. I was transported to a previous time with that quote and the love quote of the day

"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other." Rainer Maria Rilke I love that quote and I find Ranier Maria Rilke very interesting.

I have a great dream post involving a giant Eagle and a stick man and dog, but I will save that one for another day.

2010-01-05T04:48:00.000-08:00

Gaily bedight

A gallant knight

In sunshine and in shadow

Had journeyed long

Singing a song

In search of Eldorado

But he grew old-

This knight so bold-

And o'er his heart a shadow

Fell as he found

No spot of ground

That looked like Eldorado

And, as his strength

Failed him at length

He met a pilgrim shadow-

"Shadow," said he,

"Where can it be-

This land of Eldorado?"

Over the Mountains

Of the Moon,

Down the Valley of the Shadow,

Ride, boldly ride,"

The shade replied-

If you see for Eldorado

Edgar Allan Poe

There you have it, an american genius, Edgar Allan Poe. It is a great poem; he was an interesting man.

Had to get the poem out and read it today after wrapping up in a blanket and watching El Dorado. I love John Wayne. I love his movies, most of them anyway, some I like better than others. El Dorado is one of my favorites. Not only do I get to watch The Duke, the movie stars Robert Mitchum and James Caan (whose character, Mississippi, recites the poem throughout the film, so excellently.

It is funny however that I always think the line is "Ride boly Ride" instead of boldly. I don't know if that is because I have always missed the actual word, or if they wrote it that way for the movie. It is absolutey marvelous in any case.

Now I want to watch more John Wayne and get out the collected works of Edgar Allan Poe.

Time for a great movie

2010-01-04T05:47:00.000-08:00

"Have you ever loved a woman Razin?" Dr. Zhivago

The new year has begun with bitterly cold weather! A perfect opportunity to build a fire in the fireplace and put a film in the dvd player. What better movie to watch than Dr. Zhivago.

The best time to watch those frozen scenes is when the weather is cold and brisk.

While I have to admit, it is one of the most depressing films ever, I just love to watch it in January. My favorite person in the entire film is Tonya. She is good and kind throughout the entire film, when she was wealthy and when she was very poor. Even when her husband trotted off to Yuriatin to "visit the library".

Now I cannot despise Zhivago. The poet in him is so lovely. I mean he did choose Tonya and was going back, but fate intervened. Not sure that I ever liked Lara. She was weak from the get go.

But I do love the imagery in the film and I love being snuggled up and watching in the cold cold month of January.

Out with the Old in with the New

2009-12-29T07:40:00.000-08:00

Maggie darted about like a blac-stockinged bird.... Wende Devlin

The old year was amazing, can’t wait to see what the New Year will bring.

2010, I can scarcely believe I will soon be writing that date.

But, firstly I must discuss Christmas. My Christmas was amazing.

My Dad was able to make it through the rain storm to be with Janet, Regena and I for Christmas Eve.

We had a white Christmas after all, which meant that we got to visit with Dad for a few extra days! He actually couldn’t get out due to weather until Dec. 27. We surely enjoyed having him around. We went to the movie theater on Christmas day to see Sherlock Holmes. I haven’t had the chance to go to the movies with my Dad for a long time.

Presents! There were lots opened and enjoyed. Let me just say I have delightful, wonderful, caring, giving daughters.

From Regena : DVDS El Dorado ( I love John Wayne)

Gidget (Sandra Dee)

Elvis compilation tape with 4 movies!

Do Not Disturb (Doris Day and Rod Taylor)

The Glass Bottom Boat (Doris Day and Rod Taylor)

Benny and Joon

A book on whales , some sake, and a delightful aromatherapy body cream(I will be having time to relax and enjoy that very soon!)

Also, she got me soft socks and filled my stocking with goodies (including Jack Daniels Coffee and chocolate and peppermint and homemade soap)

From Janet: DVDS Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Tammy (one with Debbie Reynolds and two Sandra Dee)

Soft brown reindeer socks

A lovely scarf

A metal spatula (one that Uma will not be able to eat!)

Lotion and bath gel in my stocking

I certainly won't be bored when they both go off to grad school next year.

I received a bottle of Baileys from my Dad. Which I have sampled already!

Steve. One reason my 2009 was so awesome. Not only did he make my dream of Cape Cod come true, he is making all my dreams come true. Maybe some of my loyal readers (both of you) remember that I blogged about the marvelous book Cranberry Thanksgiving. Well, I now own my very own copy! Steve bought it for me for Christmas. He also gave me a bottle of Irish whiskey, with a trip to Ireland attached. YES, you read it right, A TRIP TO IRELAND in 2010!

I feel very fortunate and have had a year filled with family and friends (of which I feel extremely fortunate to have several very dear friends).

I am looking forward to a new year, but leave the old one with fond memories to last a lifetime.

Here comes Santa Claus

2009-12-22T07:17:00.000-08:00

You'd better not pout, you'd better no cry

Santa Claus is coming to town!

Here they are as promised, the reindeer and Santa made by J in 1995! These are some of my very favorite Christmas decorations.

I love to look at all the designer stuff, but when you come to my place you get homemade decorations. We not only have the beloved reindeer and Santa (so are Dasher and Dancer in the front leading the sleigh or are they closest to Santa?) we have three versions of handprint wreaths, Santa Claus in various forms from years in Oklahoma, three very special angels that sing in our Angel Choir that sits on the coffee table and a very special angel in a gingham dress that sits atop our Christmas tree. She will be there every year, or until she falls apart, even when her creator can't make it home for Christmas (missing my boy this year).

Our tree is full of handmade photo ornaments of the kids through the years. It warms my heart to look at them all, and remember.

So Merry Christmas to all and a very Happy New Year.

December Time Again

2009-12-03T05:09:00.000-08:00

When the air is filled with twinkling bells

And the trees are white with crusty shells

When the frost is on the windowpane

It's December time again

When the snowflakes cover up the sky

And little faces breathe a happy sigh

Old man winter's here to entertain

It's December time again

The mistletoe that's growing

Will soon be picked for showing

That lovers like this season of the year

Those sleigh rides so exciting

The fancy colored lighting

Are certain signs the yule tide's growing near

When the woodman fells the evergreen

And little carollers appear upon the scene

And the heaven's echo their refrain

It's December time again

(song lyrics Walter Grieve)

I am so ready for December time.

The forecast for today is possible flurries.

The air this morning has the crispness of December.

Bell ringers have begun their vigil of standing in the cold

to raise a few dollars for the needy at this time of the year.

On Sunday, we make the long trip (across town)

to choose a Christmas tree.

Then the awesome task of decorating.

Shopping has begun, and in fact is almost done.

I have a couple of traditional shopping trips planned

with friends.

My family is coming on Dec 12

to celebrate the holidays

together at my home.

Then the long wait until Christmas Eve.

Yes it is December time again.

I am certainly feeling the spirit of the season.

Give Thanks

2009-11-25T05:09:00.000-08:00

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

One more day of work and then rest. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I will be pulling our collection of Thanksgiving stories off the book case tonight. We have quite a few books, a few of our favorites are A Turkey for Thanksgiving by Eve Bunting, The Thanksgiving Story by Alice Dalgliesh, Twas the Night before Thanksgiving by Dave Pilkey and one of our favorites, which we don't have a copy of is Cranberry Thanksgiving by Wende and Harry Devlin. This is a marvelous family story, with a bit of mystery. At the end of the book you will find the recipe for Grandmother's Famous Cranberry Bread . Now I always make this delicious bread on Thanksgiving Day.

I would love to have a copy of the book, but it is difficult to find and quite expensive when one is found.

Tomorrow we give thanks for what we have, as the Pilgrims did so long ago. Which brings me to the real point of this story, decorations! My favorite thanksgiving decorations are the pilgrims that J made some years ago. Her creative use of toilet paper rolls and felt are shown in the photo above. They are treasures. Next week I will be bringing out Dasher Dancer Prancer Vixen Comet Cupid Donder and Blitzen, with Santa in his sleigh(all made with the same technique as the pilgrims).

Happy Thanksgiving and safe journey for all travelers on this holdiay weekend.

We Gather Together

2009-11-23T05:35:00.000-08:00

We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing;
He chastens and hastens His will to make known;
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing,
Sing praises to His name: He forgets not his own.

Over the River and
Through the Woods

Over the river and thru the wood,
To grandfather's house we go;
The horse knows the way
To carry the sleigh,
Thru the white and drifted snow, oh!
Over the river and thru the wood,
Oh, how the wind does blow!
It stings the toes,
And bites the nose,
As over the ground we go.

Over the river and thru the wood,
To have a first-rate play;
Oh, hear the bell ring,
"Ting-a-ling-ling!"
Hurrah for Thanksgiving Day-ay!
Over the river and thru the wood,
Trot fast my dapple gray!
Spring over the ground,
Like a hunting hound!
For this is Thanksgiving Day.

Thinking a lot about music for Thanksgiving. I have already hit the playlist for The Night Heron Consort A Celtic Celebbration (Christmas Favorites) Vol. 2, while I work on databases at work, and jumped into the season with both feet. I have numerous playlists for Christmas, but I only have one playlist for Thanksgiving. Which includes the song We Gather Together, but sadly not Over the River and Through the Woods.

I love Thanksgiving. I really love the day. I love waking up with the anticipation of the smell of Turkey roasting in the oven. I love the smell of home made bread as it bakes. I love the smell of cinnamon and cloves in the pumpkin pie.

Now I am not traveling over the river and through the woods, while I will miss all my family, I love being at home, with my girls, cooking and watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Now the parade has changed somewhat since I was a little girl, but I still love it. I love handing over the loaves of stale bread to the girls and having them begin the process of fixing my mom's famous dressing, by pinching the bread as they watch the parade.

We are having a guest from across the Atlantic, a friend of Janet's from England. We plan on giving her a taste of a traditional American Thankksgiving Day.

The best thing about Thanksgiving traditions is that all families have their own traditions, and I think no one family has the exact same traditions. I believe the unifying factor is the Turkey (or in our case the Turkey and the Vegetarian meatless roll that tastes like turkey). Most families include this delicious fowl in their Thanksgiving tradition.

So what are you traditions?

What ever they are I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. I will be giving thanks for all the blessings in my life.

Whale Tales

2009-10-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

. . . these are the times of dreamy quietude, when beholding the tranquil beauty and brilliancy of the ocean's skin, one forgets the tiger heart that pants beneath it; and would not willingly remember, that this velvet paw but conceals a remorseless fang.

"There she blows!--there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill! It is Moby Dick!"

from Moby Dick by Herman Mellville

The Atlantic Ocean is truly magnificent. I spent some time just being with the ocean on my visit to Cape Cod.

It is no secret to those who know me well, my love of whales. I finally got to board a sea going vessel and head out to Stellwagen National Marine Sanctuary and view these magnificent mammals in the wild. The feel of the wind on may face as we glided through the ocean to our final viewing spot, was exhilarating and awesome!

While I find whaling to be a heinous occupation, and I understand it still happens in certain countries, I am curious and fascinated by the history of the whaling industry.

I have never read Moby Dick in its entirety, but I love Mellville and I am adding this title to my ever growing list of books to read.

I think I need another trip to Cape Cod to sit on the beach, listen to the sound of the surf, and read.

Strange Brew

2009-10-05T06:10:00.001-07:00

"It's my last one, its a jelly" Bob McKenzie

I was invited to an awesome Strange Brew party this last Saturday.

It was an awesome party. I have never seen the movie, and I have to admit I laughed out loud!

I also ate and ate and ate! We started with pizza with canadian bacon and a beer. We moved on to a big bag, and I mean big bag of popcorn and beer. Then moved on to jelly donuts and beer.

Oh did I say we had a couple of beers?

Now, as my loyal readers, all two of you, know, I have been sticking pretty closely to a healthy eating South Beach plan. Well I indulged this weekend. Not only did I eat a jelly donut, I had two Krispy Kremes on Saturday and one on Sunday morning!

And I didn't stop there. We were celebrating the birthday of our host, my delightful niece and I had a piece of chocolate cake and a delicious cupcake made by Regena.

I don't feel guilty, but I now need to workout extra hard this week to work off those jellys. Beauty!

Embrace Change

2009-10-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

"Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy." W. Somerset Maugham

Embrace change. Change, the season from summer (if you could call it that) to glorious fall. This is one change I love to embrace.

Driving to work this morning I was listening to a story on NPR about Elderhostel. They have decided to change the name to Exlporitas. What I found very interesting about this report was the people, "older" so to speak who are appalled by this idea, thinking it will bring in the 20 somethings and they would feel old around them.

While I seriously doubt that 20 something will flock to Exploritas, because they have their own networks of international youthhostels to choose from, and I am certain they don't want to be sharing with the old folks, the interviews with the older females who travel made me stop and think about myself.

I just said to Steve the other day, " I don't do change well". I mean , I was upset that Victoria's Secrect put some spandex in their new line of underwear! After wearing the first new pair, I was totally thrilled with the change. After hearing the interviews this morning, I have decided that I will from here on out embrace change! I will learn to love it and quit moaning and groaning about why things have to change.

So if you hear me complaining because some change has occurred, you have my permission to slap me back to reality and tell me to embrace the change. I don't want to be one of those old woman who complain about EVERYTHING because they are afraid of change!

It's Hockey Night in Urbana!

2009-09-25T06:16:00.000-07:00

Yes September, the beginning of the ice hockey season!

It is time to rumble. I am looking forward to seeing how the team looks this year.

The Illini are ranked No. 2 in the ACHA this year.

Let the fun begin!

A Vacation at last

2009-09-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

"Take rest:; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop ." Ovid

Finally, after a long time waiting, I have visited Cape Cod.

Steve, being the wonderful person he is took me on the most relaxing enjoyable vacation to the Cape.

I have seen whales in the wild. It was so thrilling. There is nothing like the Atlantic Ocean and being on a boat with the wind and the motion of the waves was both relaxing and thrilling. Days of picnics on the beach, walking hand in hand with the surf coming in at our feet, picking up rocks, lots and lots of waterworn pebbles that glisten in the sunling, igneous and metamorphic rock just waiting for me!

Lots of exercise to be had also, climbing 25 stories up the Pilgrim Monument to gaze at the panoramic view of Provincetown, not to mention walking barefoot in sand.

I got to eat simply scrumpous seafood, had my first whole lobster at the Lobster Pot. I devoured scallops and lobster and shrimp and mussels and oysters and fish!

Speaking of fish, stopped in at Capt. Kidd's in Woodshole, for lunch and had Bell Haven Ale from Scotland on tap with my fish and chips.

Enjoyed a lively time at Liam Maguire's Irish Pub in Falmouth. First night I had Sheperds Pie and the second visit to Liam's I had fish and chips.

I can now say that I have been on Martha's Vineyard. That was a fun trip over on the ferry then a day of walking. I have to tell you that we lunched at an Irish Pub, Danny Quinn's on the Vinveyard and I consumed a bowl of Guinness Stew with my Smithwicks!

Spending 9 whole days with Steve, just enjoying life, made me the happiest woman. It was terribly difficult to rejoin the working world, but alas it had to be done.

Fear of the unknown

2009-08-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;

One need not to be a house;

The brain has corridors surpassing

Material place.

Emily Dickinson

Of late my dreams have been quite frightening. A little history; when I was about 16 I began to have nightmares. Nightmares so real that I would wake up screaming. My poor mother would jump out of bed, knocking her shins against the bed frame or the dresser, in an attempt to get to me, to see if i was being murdered in my bed!

A particular memory was a time that she came in my room and I was crouched by the bed, I told her "Get down they will get you". She was always so reassuring, she would wake me up and tell me everything was okay. My mom's name was Regena.

Fast forward to modern day, another Regena, my darling daughter, has taken up the task of reassuring me that everything is okay. Yes indeed, all these years later, I am still waking up screaming bloody murder! Regena thinks I need to see a sleep therapist. Perhaps she is correct, but I am not sure they could do anything for me. The last two weeks I have had a screamer, about 10 of the 14 days! Do I remember the dream, not usually, but I know it always involve my making the wrong decision.

Fear of the unknown, that nagging thing that you have to get around. I think my dreams are tied to fear of the unknown. Or it could be fear of making decisions, whether they be financial or decisions about what to do with my life, or fear of things that are to come. Now I have to have a needle aspiration of a cyst in my left breast. I have never had anything like this done ever, so I am a little nervous about. There is a slight fear that it will turn out not to be a cyst, but the doctor assured me he believes it is a cyst. So I am NOT going to obsess about the whole thing and just think about my upcoming trip to Cape Cod with Steve.

Hey, Regena will get a 10 day break from those screamers!

A Long time coming

2009-08-24T10:57:00.000-07:00

"This time , like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well I am still here, believe it or not! I haven't had a chance to post all summer. You see I think I am having too much fun now. Well also I have been really busy at work.

Both girls have been home for the summer and I have been enjoying their presence, but Janet moved into her apartment on Friday, school started today and summer is winding down.

Steve and I have been so busy doing fun things and getting some work done in my yard.

I need to sit down and write again.

I have been sad that my pool closed for good. I haven't had a chance to swim all summer.

I am getting ready for a wonderful 10 day vacation to Cape Cod with Steve.

So, I am back. I am happy (even though the work being done in my building is sending chills down my spine and making my teeth hurt).

It amazes me

2009-06-16T05:36:00.000-07:00

It amazes me

and I know the wind will surely one day

blow it all away

It amazes me

and I am so very grateful that you made the world this way

This is the refrain from one of my favorite John Denver songs. I was lucky enough to see John Denver in concert 3 times, twice in St. Louis, once at the now long gone Ice Arena, where my favorite hockey team , the St. Louis Blues once played and at Kiel Auditorium which now goes by some other stupid corporate name, and once in Oklahoma. All the concerts where absolutey fantastic. He was truly a gifted storyteller and songwriter. He played constantly, never left the stage, when the band went to take a break, he played on, sitting on a stool with his acoustic guitar.

Oh to be able to hear him again.

When Regena was a little girl, and we were taking driving trips in the car, we always listened to John Denver, he is great for listening to when driving long distances, you can sing along, and that is just what that delightful little girl did. Now Regena sang all the time, and still does, she once asked if we could hear her singing in the backseat, because she was sure that she was blending with John Denver and we couldn't hear her. She has been a joy in my life that is uncomparable.

So here's to JD, I plan on listening to all his albums today while I work. And here's to Regena, who brings great joy to my life.

88% Full

2009-06-11T05:24:00.000-07:00

"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles." Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning I am feeling like the waning gibbous moon, 88% of full. Okay, so you might wonder what makes an upbeat person like myself feeling less that full?

Well, you see I have finally realized that I cannot continue to just eat anything and everything that I want. I think I am finally feeling like I am in my 50's! But, according to Emerson that should not mean a thing. According to him I am like an old fiddle.

So I embarked on the South Beach Diet. I am not hungry. I eat plenty. The food is good, but the act of eating has lost its pleasure. Which makes me feel sad.

I have started a challenge with a co-worker to get this extra weight off. It is exciting.

It is possible that I am just tired today because of the stormy weather. A good workout this afternoon should pick me right up, and then an evening with my guy will certainly brighten my mood. Hey, I am feeling better already just thinking about it.

Adjustments

2009-05-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

"How can you come to know yourself? Never by thinking, always by doing. Try to do your duty, and you'll know right away what you amount to." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

So here I am searching Goethe for some inspiration. I have been alone in the house, with the two dogs (one of whom has been ill and has been in need of nurturing and nursing) and the lone cat for a whole week now!

Regena left for Scotland and has been touring with her sister. She leaves such an empty spot when she goes. Regena is so full of life and so much fun to be around that when she is gone for an extended period of time, I really notice her absence.

It takes a period of adjustment to be alone again. I have been busy trying to make my flower garden look like the one in the picture above. Right now it looks like a few lone flowers and a lot of dirt, but hopefully it will get there. I have some seeds that are definitely sprouting. The vegetable garden is taking off and I am so happy to see the plants growing.

Steve and I went to the movies, I did some grilling and we spent a lovely morning in the park, sharing breakfast with his church friends. So I have not been totally alone, and I am filling in some time at the gym and reading.

So, do I know myself? Well I certainly try to always do my duty, so I can say, yes, I know me fairly well. I know that I don't like to be alone all the time, I like to be with the people I love. I do like some alone time, I like the way the garden looks, even though it is a lot of work and I love my dogs, even when they are old and need extra care. It is so nice to se Mickey bouncing around again and the ear infections healing.

Just as I make the adjustment for being alone, Regena and Janet will be home! I am looking forward to June 3.

Longing for Ireland

2009-05-18T07:23:00.001-07:00

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,

And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made;

Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honey bee,

And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,

Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;

There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,

And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day

I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;

While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,

I hear it in the deep heart's core.

—The Lake Isle of Innisfree, by William Butler Yeats

Oh how I long to visit Ireland. A friend recently asked me if Innisfree was a real place in Ireland. I found this delightful poem and a couple of images. Now I guess I need to watch The Quiet Man, which is on my top 20 list of favorite films.

Take me out to the ballgame

2009-05-08T05:47:00.000-07:00

...Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks....

Oh the call of the ball park! I have yet to visit the new stadium in St. Louis.

I really hope to get to a game this year. Right now my team is at the top of the standings.

When I was a young girl I went to Busch stadium with my dad and mom. Baseball was so much fun then. It was a real treat to see Bob Gibson pitch a no hitter. In 1982 when the Cards won the World Series we drank champaign and sang Celebrate !

In 2006 I was in Scotland getting ready to head back to the states, when I turned on the telly to get the news and got to see my team win the world series!

For tonight I will head over and see the U of I baseball team beat Ohio State. It should be a good night to eat hot dogs and cheer on my team.

April Showers

2009-04-28T05:42:00.000-07:00

bring May Flowers

and my Lily of the Valley plants are up and waiting. The showers are here, can't wait for the flowers.

Today I was feeling like I needed an Irish Blessing. So here is one for you.

"May you always have work for your hands to do.

May your pockets hold always a coin or two.

May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.

May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.

May the hand of friend always be near you.

And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Opportunity Knocks

2009-04-24T05:25:00.000-07:00

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas A. Edison

Friday my favorite day of the week. The weather is beautiful, but may get a little warmer than I like at this time of the year. I am not complaining

however, I am enjoying the sunshine.

I have a beautifully tilled very large piece of my backyard just waiting to be planted. Thanks to Steve my garden spot is ready and waiting.

Regena planted some seeds in peat pots and has been nurturing them for several weeks now.

The peppers are sprouted and hopefully are ready for the outdoors. She planted some watermelon seeds and some herbs also. The watermelon look ready. I gave all the seedlings a little taste of outdoors yesterday. They spent the day in the garage, but I carried them out to the sunshine for a few minutes as I transplanted some Irises and finished putting the rock in my rock garden.

The call to grab the trowel was too strong for me yesterday. I have some new rose bushes ready to plant and a couple of very pretty border plants to put in. We have lots of flower seeds to sow in our newly tilled flower garden.

We have strawberry plants and onions; star gazer lilies and peonies; radish and zucchini seeds, along with green bean and carrot and yellow squash; three tomato vines are ready and waiting.

Hooray for Friday and I am anxious and ready to plant (I don't however have a pair of overalls!, but Steve does and I hope he dons them to help me plant my garden.

86 days left

2009-04-21T07:29:00.000-07:00

" I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me." Harry Potter

Only 86 days until the film Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince comes to a theater near me!

I can hardly wait. I am longing for a good film with my favorite Wizard.

Since there are no more books to look forward to, the movie just has to do.

I think i will revisit the books. I may just read them all again. I am going to watch all the films too. I am thinking full HP immersion!

Glorious Day

2009-04-17T05:41:00.000-07:00

"Oh how this spring of love resembleth

The uncertain glory of an April Day!

William Shakespeare The Two Gentlemen of Verona Act 1 Scene 3

Oh what a glorious morning to be sure. Spring is in the air. Life is good.

Driving to work this morning, I realized how light the morning has become. Now I love driving to work in the dark, still, coolness of the morning, but I was struck with the beauty of the day on my drive in this morning.

I looked up to see the third quarter moon in the sky, and watched the sun glinting off the stadium as I passed it. There were more cars on the street than usual. I sometimes see one or two when I drive in at 6:15am but there were 6 cars this morning.

The love quote of the day "Love is the beauty of the soul" seems to just encompass how I feel this morning.

The love I feel for my son and daughters, my dad and my brothers and sister and their families and for Steve fills my soul with beauty and joy. I was thrilled and excited to greet the day.

On my way to St. Charles this Saturday to share in the love my nephew feels for his fiancee as they unite in holy matrimony.

Love and Spring are in the air!

Easter

2009-04-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." C. S. Lewis

When I was a little girl, Easter was a marvelous holiday. I always got a new dress and new shoes and a purse and white gloves and a hat! I loved dressing up and going to church.

Of course, the Easter bunny always made a grand appearance. The eggs we had colored the night before were hidden around the yard. We had a grand time hunting for those eggs. To top it off there was a basket full of goodies, a chocolate bunny, jelly beans and those ever beloved Peeps. Then there was a delicious dinner which included ham.

Easter is probably my very favorite of all holidays. Not only do I still love the Easter Bunny, the mass on Holy Thursday, is one of my favorites of the year. Good Friday service is very special and then a glorius mass on Easter Sunday morning, brings with it the sound of trumpets, everyone dressed in their Easter Sunday clothes and a general feeling of well being.

This Easter sunday morning, Regena and I will attend mass then the Easter bunny will hide some plastic candy filled eggs (usually indoors now) for Regena to gather. Of course a wonderful array of Easter goodies will be found in her Easter Basket. I will be making Ham and au gratin potatoes, green bean casserole, bunny bread, deviled eggs (of course) and Chocolate Pie and Lemon Meringue Pie.

Steve and his mom will be joining us this year. How special for me to spend Easter with the people I love. Some of my loved ones will be absent, my family are doing their own things, haven't heard from Ryan yet, but he is probably working and Janet is off in Scotland enjoying Easter with some friends. We miss her but know she is having a fantastic Easter too.( Don't worry, I mailed her Easter Basket early.)

Happy Easter!

A Book for the Weeks End

2009-04-03T05:44:00.001-07:00

"Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill.

Henry David Thoreau

Hooray for Friday! I am so glad that the weeks end has arrived. It has been a lovely week, I am very happy. I have had a productive week of work, but oh how I am looking forward to Saturday. Sleeping in, then getting up for a trip to the gym, back home for a day of sipping coffee surrounded by my delightful animals, curled up with a good book! I just want to relax. This Saturday there is nowhere I have to be and nothing I have to get done. Relaxation, here I come!

Let me tell you I have stacks of books to read. I have been choosing a book, from my large stack, to read while I workout on the elliptical jogger, books that I have been putting off, oh they are in my stack, but I haven’t had the desire to pick them up. But, hey when you are stuck on the jogger, what better time to pick up those books. I have finished two from the stack. I got around to reading The Poisonwood Bible, a book I thought I would enjoy, but I didn’t. I was compelled to finish it, just to see where it would take the characters, but I truly didn’t enjoy the book. My next jogger adventure was Katerskill Falls which I did enjoy reading. I am on to a stack of Tony Hillerman mysteries that I picked up from a table of give away books at work. I like fluff and I like classics, I just love to read. I highly recommend it for a day to relax ( oh and for those boring times on the elliptical!)

So here are a few delightful quotations from some of my favorite authors:

"I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book! When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library." Jane Austen from Pride and Prejudice (one of my favorite authors and favorite books)

"In the highest civilization, the book is still the highest delight. He who has once know its satisfactions is provided with a resource against calamity." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"When I read a good book I seem to read it with my eyes only, but now and then I come across a passage, perhaps only a phrase, which has a meaning for me, and it becomes part of me." W. Somerset Maughm from Of Human Bondage

"Knowing I lov'd my books he furnish'd me
from mine own library with volumes that
I prize above my dukedom.

William Shakespeare from The Tempest Act 1 Scene 2 ( I may pick this one from my shelf to read this weekend)

Birthday

2009-03-31T08:07:00.000-07:00

"I have enjoyed the second blooming... suddenly you find-at the age of 50, say-that a whole new life has opened before you." Agatha Christie

So another year has passed and I am a year older. Hurray! I had a very exciting day with my friends and loved ones.

Now, if you know me you know that I love birthdays, mine and everyone else's. It just happens that my mom loved birthdays. We celebrated and had grand times. I always miss my mom most on my birthday.

My day started with a sausage biscuit breakfast, from my friend Nate; Lunch was a grand affair at Bombay Grill. I picked Regena up and she accompanied me and 8 of my friends for lunch. The buffet was extremely tasty. The manager, who I think is beginning to recognize Regena and me, asked her if it was a special occasion. She told him it was my birthday and how to spell my name. Well, they brought out a delicious plate of desserts, mango ice cream and some other fruity ice cream with little dough balls and Happy Birthday Stephanie spelled out along the edge of the plate. They sang! Then the two managers and the waiter each shook my hand and wished me many happy returns of the day. It was so much fun!

I got presents! Flowers, for my garden and for my house from 3 of my friends, a lovely coaster to sit my wine glass on, and a collection of Celtic music from two other friends. And birthday cards, lovely ones! My friends are lovely people. There was also coffee cake in the morning!

The fun has just begun. After work, Regena helped me carry the flowers to the car and we went home and I opened the presents from her. You can guess, 3 DVDS that I wanted, a set of bamboo kitchen utensils to replace the ones that Uma ate, a lovely celtic symbol bedspread and cheese! Lovely tasty cheeses including my favorites Stilton and Gorgonzola, a nice goat cheese from France and then another one that I can't remember.

Then Steve came. I opened his presents! Beautiful wine glasses(I have managed to break all of the ones i had), a lovely candle and a beautiful Willow Bark figurine.

Then it was on to pick up Liz so we could go to Kamakura for supper! She gave me some lovely daisies in a vase. Then on to the fun at Kamakura and it being Steve's first time, we had fun.

Regena and I shared some warm sake and we ate and ate! Then home for Williamsburg Orange cake that Regena had painstakingly made for me!

Steve had to leave for work, but Regena and Liz and I then watched Dancing with the Stars and Castle. I got a call from Emma, which was delightful. Then I had to go to bed!

Everyone's birthday should be this much fun!

Looking to the Weekend

2009-03-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

"My opera was given yesterday with big applause for the third time," Mozart wrote in a letter to his father on July 27th. "In spite of the terrible summer heat, the theatre was packed." Mozart added, "it really feels good to hear this kind of applause."

Oh how I am looking forward to the weekend!

On Saturday, Steve is taking me to see

The Abduction from the Seralio

at the Lyric in Chicago.

But first we will stop in Chinatown to look around and eat.

Ah Mozart, I am sure this is going to be a wonderful

opera.

This opera was commissioned from 26 year old

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart by Joseph II in 1782.

For a full description and synopsis of the opera head

over to NPR.

Here is a little scene from Amadeus:

A Happy Car

2009-03-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble." Titus Maccius Plautus

As I watched the happy green beetle being hooked up to the big burly tow truck, I felt sad. I hated to see the happy little car being towed away. Oh, the driver of the tow truck was very nice and treated the little car with care, but still I was sad.

Steve had so generously let me borrow the car for a trip to St. Charles Missouri to attend the bridal shower of my nephew's fiance. The happy little car is so much fun to drive and got us to Missouri and back quite nicely.

I drove the happy little car to work and decided to run an errand just before lunch, to pick up some pants I had taken to be hemmed at the alteration shop just around the corner. Well I retrieved my pants, went out to the car, put the key in the ignition and the happy little car would not start. I was just shocked. I was sure I had done something to the car, but could not figure out what.

So I was patient, I waited first for 10 minutes, tried to start it, still she wouldn't start; then for 30 minutes, I went back to work and ate lunch, after my friend picked me up. I hated to leave the happy little car in the lot, but I had no options. Well another friend took me back after lunch, but still the happy little car would not start. With no options left I had to wake Steve up and deliver the terrible news, "I can't get the car started."

End of the long story, the happy little car was towed to the shop. Still don't know what is wrong with her, but I am sure she is going to be okay! Steve was wonderful, as he always is, and wasn't upset with me at all.

Hey Hey it's Friday!

2009-03-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

"Listen, can you hear it? Spring's sweet cantata. The strains of grass pussing through the snow. The song of buds swelling on the vine The tender timpani of a baby robin's hear. Spring. Diane Frolove and Andrew Schneider Northern Exposure 1992

Hey it is Friday and it is the vernal exquinox. In the Northern Hemisphere spring officially begins at 7:44 a.m. ET on Friday, March 20, 2009—the vernal equinox, or spring equinox.

It has been a long week, I am glad that it is Friday. A day of rest tomorrow ,well I have to go workout and I have to go buy a present for a bridal shower, but other than that I think I will partake of the 3 R's, rest, reading and relaxation!

I feel truly happy and blessed.

Happy Spring!

Gordon Lightfoot on a Wednesday Evening

2009-03-19T04:59:00.000-07:00

The man is a poet. I have loved Gordon Lightfoot for a while. I saw him 9 years ago at the Virgina. Last nights performance was much the same as the last time I saw him.

Here are the lyrics to a great song: The Edmund Fitzgerald

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down

Of the big lake they called 'Gitche Gumee'

The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead

When the skies of November turn gloomy

With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more

Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty.

That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed

When the gales of November came early.

The ship was the pride of the American side

Coming back from some mill in Wisconsin

As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most

With a crew and good captain well seasoned

Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms

When they left fully loaded for Cleveland

And later that night when the ship's bell rang

Could it be the north wind they'd been feelin'?

The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound And a wave broke over the railing And every man knew, as the captain did too, T'was the witch of November come stealin'. The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait When the Gales of November came slashin'. When afternoon came it was freezin' rain In the face of a hurricane west wind.

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin'. Fellas, it's too rough to feed ya. At Seven P.M. a main hatchway caved in, he said Fellas, it's been good t'know ya The captain wired in he had water comin' in And the good ship and crew was in peril. And later that night when his lights went outta sight Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Does any one know where the love of God goes When the waves turn the minutes to hours? The searches all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay If they'd put fifteen more miles behind her. They might have split up or they might have capsized; May have broke deep and took water. And all that remains is the faces and the names Of the wives and the sons and the daughters.

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings In the rooms of her ice-water mansion. Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams; The islands and bays are for sportsmen. And farther below Lake Ontario Takes in what Lake Erie can send her, And the iron boats go as the mariners all know With the Gales of November remembered.

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed, In the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral. The church bell chimed till it rang twenty-nine times For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald. The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down Of the big lake they call 'Gitche Gumee'. Superior, they said, never gives up her dead When the gales of November come early!

2009-03-18T05:28:00.000-07:00

Okay it getting exciting! The Illini will be battling their biggest rival, The Lindenwood Lions for the ACHA title again this year.

Oh to be in Cleveland for the game. How much fun would that be?!

The Illini have lost 4 of the 5 games they played against Lindenwood this year. Granted we were short 5 players (due to the World Hockey games in China, in which the Illini sent the most players from any team) for two of those games.

I believe the Illini can beat Lindenwood and bring home the title for the second year in a row.

Go Illini!

Full Moon

2009-03-11T04:36:00.000-07:00

"May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night and a smooth road all the way to your door. " Irish Blessing

I opened the door to let the dogs out this morning and was welcomed to the day by a brilliant full moon!

Now I had thought I would be unhappy that the weather has taken a turn for winter again, but I found myself feeling exhilarated by the bright cold clearness of the early morning. I pulled out the coat, scarf, hat and mittens once again, and ventured forth to meet the day.

The drive to work was a happy one, just looking at that beautiful moon.

Fantasy

2009-03-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

"Imagination is more important than knowledge..." Albert Einstein

I am ready to chuck it all and go and work at the Lyric! Okay, so not really.

After the backstage tour that Steve and I took on Sunday, my creative side got fired up. Now there is not all that much creativity in this mind, so that is saying a lot.

We had the most magical time in Chicago. The 4 hour Wagner opera, Tristan and Isolde, was worth going to just to experience the set! It was tremendous. The light slowly came on behind the firewall revealing what appeared to be a painting. Then the singers began to move. The set design and lighting were so awesome that I felt like I was being walked through a beautiful work of art. It was sort of like the moving paintings in the Harry Potter movies.

As we were having breakfast on Sunday morning, we noticed that it had started to snow. It was so beautiful. Now I would not have expected to be happy about snow on March 1, but it seemed to be just part of the magical weekend.

We set off for the backstage tour of The Civic Opera house. We enjoyed a nice lunch in the lobby, watched a little of a new opera that is opening at the Lyric, which looks totally amazing, The Abduction of Seralio, by Mozart. I have never heard of it, but it would be a fun one to see.

The tour started in the opera boxes! Now one could used to the comfort of an opera box! We got some history of the opera house and then on to more and exciting adventures. We were on the catwalk, looking up 140ft at the flyway, we were in costuming, makeup and wigs (40 hours to create one wig!), properties room, the orchestra pit(got to stand where the maestro stands to conduct), and the stage. The stage crew were disassembling the pieces of the set from Tristan and Isolde. It was fascinating.

I wanted to work in properties, in costuming, in makeup and on stage crew! What a fascinating career to be involved in. The lady in properties made reference as to what an imagination you have to have to work props. I know this as both my girls were props head at the high school. They are full of imagination!

But, it is Monday morning and my sensible side has taken control again. I am at work, bringing home the bacon!

A Weekend at the Lyric

2009-02-27T05:11:00.000-08:00

"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. Woody Allen

It is finally Friday, Hooray! I have a wonderful weekend in Chicago with my guy.

I have never been to a Wagner opera, but everyone says this is the one to see. I am really excited.

Not only do I get to see the opera on Saturday, Steve procured tickets for the backstage tour of the Lyric. That should be absolutely fascinating.

I am a very fortunate woman!

Now for hockey, the Fighting Illini are playing in the CSCHL tournament today at 1:30pm

Go Illini!

A Good Read

2009-02-26T05:31:00.001-08:00

Last night I was reading a book that i am enjoying quite a lot. It is not a big important book, or a piece of literary genius. It is a quite little romance book that my daughter recommended to me.

I am enjoying the characters, the setting and the writing is quite good for a romance novel. Now I happen to like a well written romance.

One of the chapters was set in Scotland and this beautiful little poem by Robert Burns was used in this chapter. So here is the poem: Red Red Rose

O my luve’s like a red, red rose

That’s newly sprung in June;

O my luve’s like the melodie

That’s sweetly play’d in tune.

A fair art thou, my bonnie lass,

So deep in luve am I;

And I will luve thee still, my dear,

Till a’ the seas gang dry.

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,

And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;

O I will luve thee still, my dear

While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare-thee-weel, my only Luve!

And fare-thee-weel awhile!

And I will come again, my luve,

Tho’ ‘twere ten thousand miles.

O my luve’s like a red, red rose,

That’s newly sprung in June;

O my luve’s like the melodie

That’s sweetly play’d in tune.

Lent Begins

2009-02-25T12:45:00.000-08:00

So I keep getting the old standard, "hey you've got something on your forehead" today. And this from people who know I am Catholic and that once a year I do indeed go to the Ash Wednesday mass!

For all those who don't know why, here is a little explanation! I love Ash Wednesday, I love the whole Lenten season, with Easter being the culmination of it all.

So laugh if you will, I will keep on going, just as our Vice President, and proudly display my ashes!

What a weekend!

2009-02-23T05:55:00.000-08:00

And the Oscar goes to.....

Slumdog Millionaire! My pick!

My favorite thank you speech of the evening was by A. R. Rahman. "All my life I've had a choice between hate and love, and I chose love, and now I'm here," he said.

I loved this film, and I love the music of A.R. Rahman. I have seen several films that he did the music for.

I was a bit annoyed at the young male presenter who could not get the name correct!

I loved seeing Danny Boyle and his Tigger impression! He is a great director.

I was happy to see Kate Winslet win best actress and Sean Penn for best actor.

I thought the show was wonderful. I could have had more Hugh Jackman! He was amazing as host. While I enjoyed seeing the past Oscar winners for best actress and actor, I could have done without the rather sappy introductions , this is how wonderful you are, of the nominees. I would rather have just seen the evidence by showing clips from their films.

All in in all I thought the show was fabulous.

On another event of the weekend, I saw the opera Rappaccini's Daughter, at Krannert with Steve. I have to say I think the set was absolutely amazing. The make up and costumes were outstanding and the music was beautiful.

TGIF

2009-02-20T08:24:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits." Satchel Paige

Well I am really glad it is Friday. I am in need of a weekend!

The Fighting Illini are at home hosting Iowa State Friday and Saturday. These should be good games and with only one more home game against ISU after the CSCHL tournament, hockey season is about to draw to a close. Five of our players were at the World games as part of Team USA. We missed them and lost at home last weekend, which has not happened in a really long time! You have to go back 10 years to see the Illini shut out, which happened on Saturday. But they are representing the USA admirably.

So I am at the games, then at Krannert Center on Sunday afternoon with Steve to see Rappaccini's Daughter (opera). Then the Oscars sunday night with Regena and her friends. Regena is going to have yummy snacks!

I am feeling pretty upbeat after getting the results of my current blood work. No cholesterol drugs for me! So I am really looking forward to some fun and rest this weekend.

New and Exciting Blog

2009-02-19T12:22:00.000-08:00

"The stuff that dreams are made of." Sam Spade The Maltese Falcon

A new and exciting blog has been started. It is all about films and filmmaking. A very special person that I know has started this blog. I am so excited to begin reading about films.

I love movies!

Been to the movies lately? What have you seen? Anyone seen all the nominated films by the Academy of Motion Pictures for best picture? What is your choice?

The nominees are : 1. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (while I enjoyed the film I don't think it is best picutre worthy)

2. Frost/Nixon (haven't seen it yet)

3. Milk (haven't seen it yet, but certainly planning on seeing it soon)

4. The Reader (haven't seen it)

5. Slumdog Millionaire ( a fabulous film and obviously my choice for best picture!)

February Funk

2009-02-18T05:33:00.000-08:00

What may be done at anytime will be done at no time. Scottish Proverb

It is a gray February morning in Illinois. I am stuck in a February funk! Now I know how many things I have to be grateful for, I am truly grateful, but I cannot help this February funk that hits me every year!

The wet gray morning did remind of Scotland, but the mist didn't seem to bother me there.

I found this great Scottish proverb ( okay I am just trying to find ways to get out of this funk), and it got me to thinking. I have been procrastinating a lot lately! I need to do a lot of things around the house. I need to pick up a book and sit and read for hours, after I get all the work done around the house.

February has been the month that has brought a few life altering events for me. I guess that is why I get the February funk.

That being said, I have a wonderful man in my life now, who treats me better than any man ever has. So I try to concentrate on all the good in my life in the present moment. I have a great trip to the Lyric Opera coming up at the end of the month, which is good, because that is the weekend my mom died. I can mix the sad with some happy.

I am truly looking forward to March, birthdays, spring green, getting out in the yard, and seeing the end of winter!

My Valentine

2009-02-13T07:10:00.000-08:00

Okay so I should have waited a few hours to do the Valentine blog.

I just received the most wonderful, beautiful gift from my Valentine, a singing valentine.

The CU theater group dropped in at 8:20am while I was having coffee and a little bit of cherry yummy cake. Imagine how surprised I was! They gave me a white rose and a little bag of chocolate kisses and then proceeded to say this was from Steve White. They sang Can't Help Falling in Love with you and they did it beautifully. It brought tears to my eyes and my colleagues that got to work early this morning heard a lovely serenade!

I highly recommend hiring this group for singing valentines.

So I thank Steve from the bottom of my heart and here is a little bit of Elvis